Im tired of waiting for death and wanting to die

15 and a half months that’s how long i have left. I may end it sooner. Im tired of a lifetime in the cavern of inconsequential emptiness that is my existence. It is beyond overwhelming. Its an incredible despair that sets me apart amongst the suicidal. I don’t connect to anyone or anything. I am the embodiment of nothingness. Im tired of it. It encompasses everything i see do hear smell taste touch think about.