Had the world by the balls, successful career, opportunities galore, fell in love after the end of a very abusive marriage, with my best friend, we gave definition to the meaning… My older children don’t have anything to do with me, my own mother trash mouths me, my babies love me, and my best friend, she hurts and I can’t stand it anymore. I really was a good dad and good person, they didn’t see what went on behind closed doors, they don’t know, the hurt from that and the pain is relentless, people don’t stop, my wheels are turning so much and I’m broken, it’s hopeless, the pain and uneasiness won’t go away…i made my own mistakes and now, here I am… I can’t deal much longer, I cry and cry, today was numb
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Im not in any place to tell you that everything will be okay,because sometimes its not.i know where your sitting and everyday i consider suck starting a shot gun,but somthing holds me back.i like to hold on to that little peice of doubt that keeps me alive,maybe it will take me somewhere better in life.i hope you find it and try to hang on to it.love conquers all,and death always collects but make him wait his da*m time
I’m doing my best to. My father committed suicide 39 years ago, I’m going through similar circumstances as his. I had the world by the balls, now, it’s got me. I hate it. I’ve always had a good reputation, being kind, caring and supportive, now I’ve been given a crappy reputation, all based on lies and all confidence is gone, all emotions are drained, numbness has set in and just about nobody left that cares. I understand dad’s decision now, it made sense. I just about have the courage to the cowardly way. It’s just too much. My sadness overwhelms me, the loneliness has embraced me. Theres nothing left but lead a life I don’t want, so that will take away all the pain and suffering that is real.