This is my story to tell and the story you should know.
Janaury of 2013, I was a suicidal trans male. I suffered depression almost 3 1/2 years. It’s very long time than you all expected. I was hurt, scared, tired, lost, abandoned, and many words I should describe myself of being sad. Every day during my middle school year and the year of my 7th grade, people treated me like an animal or a beast. I was beaten up by bunch of kids especially middle and high school boys. I was known as a freak, emo freak, tranny freak, or boy freak. I couldn’t stand the pain. When you’re seeing the people who hurt you like you’re seeing the Demons. Yes, the Demons is always being on your side. He whispered to my ears,”Don’t be afraid, it’s time to die and I’ll help you to suffer from your worst nightmare”. Seeing the Demons is a lot creepier than you ever imagine because he will make you suffer. I’ve seen the Demons almost everyday and I can see them right now in front of my face. One day on Janaury of 2013, I have thoughts of suicide. It’s not in my room nor my house but it’s in the car auto room of my school when I went hiding from boys who hurt me. I was crying a lot and couldn’t think about myself. I was running and couldn’t breathe through my lungs. I found a rope, a very nasty one, and tied into a knot and hang down from the ceiling. I tried to hanged myself but I failed. A boy saw me hanging and I went running and running from them, the school, and hide in the little woods. I did tried to kill myself for 8 or 9 more times because the demon who tried to persuade me to kill myself. It gets into my head. Seeing the Demon, Demon is a real psychic killer.
4 comments
Why is it that demons always seem to go after the Angels :/
Are there any groups in your area where you can find some support? You have been very strong to have faced the challenges of your story so far. But surrounding yourself with a few Angels may give you even more strength to turn the page and start writing the next chapters staring down the demons that stand in the way of you being you.
I got bullied hard in middle school as well, and saw things too. although now at my age I don’t see them anymore.. my advice is to avoid people like that and ignore them, if they get physical again inform somebody and get support or don’t go to school. tell your mom!!!!!!
Ouch that must hurt … a lot 🙁 I don’t know what else to say except stay strong and keep fighting. Keep going, you’ve been very brave and strong… I really hope things get better for you, don’t let what the bullies say get to you, no one should ever be treated like that.
I’ve come to learn that when people attack it’s usually because they feel threatened. Maybe they found you attractive, and didn’t want to admit it to themselves. Maybe they thought you were better looking than them. Maybe they saw you with some other kind of threat, but they obviously felt threatened by you. You should consider it a compliment, and if you laugh at them and fight back they will probably fear you