apathy..

i wish i was dead. i wish someone would kill me. i wish i could die in some freak accident. i’ve been so lazy lately.. i can’t even conjure the energy to try and kill myself. it’s really not very hard to implement my current suicide methods of choice. they don’t require much time or money to prepare. i could even go through with two out of three of them today. but i can’t even roll out of bed. i can’t even get up to eat food. i’m so tired. i’ve done nothing but cry the last 3 days. lay in bed and cry. ah…wasting away is too slow of a death.