so much has changed, yet so much has not changed. i thought i had made strides in life, setting goals and finally trying to move forward and embrace a future where i live, but i was wrong. i am still so weak and in so much pain, even with the professional help i’ve obtained. i still wish to die. i do not think i will ever be good enough to exist in this world. i certainly will never be able to stand on my own two feet. i am still a colossal disappointment to my loved ones. i am a burden and a waste of resources. i still cry and hurt myself in order to stop crying. i still wish i had never been born. how unfortunate that i exist. how unfortunate that i am still too afraid to finally kill myself.
i wonder if any older members are still here on this site. do you remember me? have you all moved on? have you all died? are you at peace? i do not think i will ever stop hurting.