Is it because of my weight that he doesnt love me anymore. I know I’ve gained weight since we started dating 5 years ago. In my defense so has he. (if you’re wondering he is my husband, we were married on April 22nd last year) I recently lost my job and I am starting college in less then a week, well if I can find a way to pay for the shots I need to start. I’m going to school to become a Vet Tech, something I’ve wanted to do since I was a child. He’s had a few odd jobs here and there through out the years of our relationship but I’ve been the one to bring home the bacon mostly. As i said I recently lost my job, and have been looking for employement for the past month to no avail. Well I guess I took a week off to deal with some family issues. He wasnt happy about it but that doesnt matter now. So I’ve been job searching but havent found anything yet. I was finally getting out of the funk of losing my job and getting excited for school. Today he was mad at me becasue I didn’t clean the kitchen like I said I would. I was handling some bills and applying for work, and it got late super fast so I started dinner. As I said I have gained weight since we started dating and so has he. We decided to start eating healty so we can lose the weight faster. (Dont believe them carbs are not your friend) He was happy with dinner but pissed about the kitchen. I told him what I was doing during the day to cause the delay in the kitchen being cleaned. He told me that its hard for him to believe me about looking for work since I havent found anything yet. And the one interview I got has yet to reach out back to me. He thinks its because I’m fat and who would want to have to look at that all day. If i were to lose weight and actually try I could look pretty and then maybe I would have more luck. He then decided he wanted to cookies -_- So i made cookies. After that he went upstairs to bed complaining that I must be lieing to him about my job interviews and that I need to start showing him proof. Whatever…. I pulled my phone out and showed him the confirmation email. I told him i was excited for school and asked if we could afford the shots this weekend. To which he said school isn’t a priority and I need to find a job first. I don’t know what else to do. He doesn’t love me like he used to, I have no where else to go and I want to stay in this city so I can finish school. my family lives an hour and a half away but no one has room for me and I would have to drive up all the time for school. I feel so lost. He told me that I failed this family because I lost my job and if i took more pride in myself I wouldn’t have gotten fired. I need to drop the weight because no one wants to be with an ob. I should feel lucky that he even still wants to be intimate with me. He always says that he pulled me from the gutters and if I don’t start appreciating the things hes done he could easily put me back there. Can I survive another several months to 2 years dealing with this. I would end it now but my mom is old and it would kill her if anything happened to me. I am trying so hard but how can I get him to see that?
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” I am trying so hard but how can I get him to see that?” You can’t. It’s clear to see, your relationship is unhealthy. Right now it’s crazy late where I am, and I am about to crash. I hope you find your way.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I think I need to just stop wishing for a change and make something happen myself.
“He always says that he pulled me from the gutters and if I don’t start appreciating the things he’s done he could
easily put me back there.”
Jesus. You need to run, not walk, away from this guy. You should NEVER allow someone to feel like they have that much power over you. Plus, how dare he complain about your weight and what work you do or don’t do around the house? He sounds like a complete asshole, and he won’t change if he wants to push you around. You need to leave, as you will be much happier on your own. Then if you want you can lose weight and all that, but it won’t help you now if you’re around someone so cruel and critical.
Can you move in with a female friend temporarily while you are job searching?
I know and I’ve been trying to leave since the beginning of this year, but with school and everything I want to stay close. And it’s like he knows whenever I’m planning on doing something and he will change and start being nice to me. Sadly I don’t have any friends I could stay with. He doesn’t like the two close friends I have so we don’t talk much anymore.
Seconding the above that you need to get away from this guy, he sounds very controlling and emotionally abusive.
If you showed up on your family’s doorstep tomorrow, would they turn you away?
He is at times but he can also be super sweet too. I guess thats how it goes and I’m sure they wouldn’t but I’d have to get rid of my dogs and I don’t know if I could handle that.
Forgive me for saying this but this guy sounds like an ass. That doesnt support you in what you want to do… You said in your post that you made most of the finances before you lost your job. Forgive me but he sounds like a lazy bum and only cares about himself. I hope things get better for you.