Welp I think my friend actually hates me, because I expressed my desire for my grandfather to just die already…. I hate my grandfather he is a bigoted piece of shit, that’s the only type of person that actually upsets me. But yeah, my friend told me that he will no longer talk to me as long as I dislike my grandfather, so I guess I simply lost yet another friend…. At least this is the last one left for me to lose, and I guess that it is nice that my last experience with him was pretty pleasant, we went and got coffee then went hiking then made some french toast…. It was a nice experience. I’m still a bit upset about this entire ordeal, and I really want to cut myself but instead I decided to find food…. Fastfood isn’t a great option right now because holiday (most places here are closed and the ones that are left open are crowded) and also I kind of want to save money for getting some tomorrow anyway, so I ended up deciding to make french toast, because the french toast that we made wasn’t satisfying as it didn’t have vanilla in it…. So I made some with vanilla…. It was okay, a bit gross though as the vanilla extract I found here was older than I was and it sort of tasted a bit off…. Also I found there was no syrup here, so I made some vanilla based syrup that also was a bit off as the vanilla wasn’t that great, still it was pre satisfying but I feel sick now as I made about 8 slices, and ended up eating 6 of them and an egg (3 eggs went into the batter for the french toast and it bothered me that it was odd so I decided to fry up another egg to even out my egg consumption, which means I have to eat the other two pieces soonish to ensure that I ate 4 eggs today and not 3) I ended up not keeping what I didn’t use of the syrup though (which wasn’t a lot I only had maybe a quarter of a cup left) as it was a bit too sweet, I feel like I probably shouldn’t have used both honey and sugar in it, and also the off tasting vanilla didn’t help…. But it was still decently satisfying and the syrup was actually pretty good until I was on my 5th and 6th slice of toast, probably because I had consumed way too much syrup by that point…. Now I feel sick, I am thinking about going and vomiting as I overate and I really am unsure if I want to digest that much food…. If I do I will have to skip at least a day of food to make up for it. I’m sorry for the rambling I’m just a bit upset about losing my last friend today. Now I’m alone again.
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12 comments
How can I ‘friend’ dictate to you who you like or hate? That strikes me as kind of strange. Controlling, maybe. You like who you like, hate who you hate and a friend might not really understand your reasons, but perhaps be willing to stand by you or listen non-judgementally to what you have to say.
That was some sweet french toast. wow.
yepp sickeningly sweet, and consumed at like 11pm -_-
I’m sorry you feel alone. That sucks. The friend doesn’t sound very understanding or compassionate. I am glad you went with food instead of cutting. I never add vanilla to my french toast. Going to try that next time. Thx for the tip.
And I know online isn’t the same as real life but you have friends here 🙂
Yeah vanilla is good in french toast (is what I am most used to) I’m kind of happy about that too…. Although really over eating probably actually is more unhealthy can cutting is. I just hope I can make it the rest of the day without cutting, I feel like I will be able to.
And that’s nice to know I guess ^_^
If talking helps you avoid cutting then you can email anytime if you like. My username at hot mail. I haven’t been on here much lately but I have been around sp for years on this username and others before it.
French toast is in my opion better than pancakes I love syrup on mine no butter ? I can understand feeling alone ? sorry about your friend that didn’t sound nice what they said I don’t really like throwing up I over eat sometimes I don’t eat but I can’t force myself to throw up I had a bad experience once if I feel im going to I lie down and hope I don’t honey sounds good on French toast and eggs with cheese scrambled now I’m hungry ?
I place french toast above pancakes too, but waffles above french toast. I did not place butter on it no, I don’t even have butter in the house as I actually do not like it (I can eat it, but I don’t find it enjoyable) I tend to use oils to grease pans instead. I normally don’t actually have to really try hard to force myself to throw up, all I have to do is start heaving and after about 2-12 heaves I will be vomiting. I did like the honey vanilla syrup at first, but I would probably not put sugar in it too if I were to do it again, or maybe just less honey and vanilla (I used 1 cup of water, 1 cups of sugar, 1/2 cup of honey, and 2 tablespoons vanilla)
Vomiting isn’t fun I like the different taste of foods. I love seafood , Chinese , Mexican, Italian . The only things I don’t eat are green olives eww. And really cheesy greasy hamburger helper yuck. My tried to tell me I ate lamb once I said poor lamb. 🙁
The only food I really have problems with eating is cottage cheese, everything else is just preference but won’t prevent me from eating it ^_^ I would assume lamb would be pre good.
I meant to put smilie faces and sad faces but all I get are question mark hmm?
awwww :/
Aw ha! I figured it out! 🙂