Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfu ck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfu ck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfu ck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck
So i cant just fucking kill myself. My gun money is now bill money. My sister needs school we need a washer and dryer. Shit is due. Im behind on shit. I have no reason to fucking be here. I want to die so bad but i dont want to leave my family financially fucked up. I promised to pay bills but id feel that much more guilty using that money to die. Im turning off comments i dont want to see those bs it wasnt meant to be wait maybe you’ll find reason to live. Ive been suicidal all my miserable fucking life ive waited for fucking ever i still want to do it.
The only thing getting me through it all is the though of dying. I feel so lost so hopeless i cant do this. I don’t want to live at all. I don’t. I can’t. I can’t do this anymore. I feel like the stupidest person on earth. I may have to hang myself here or just get rhe gun anyway im done im beyond done im sick of living. I want to die more than anyone can want anything. The thought of the peaceful state of nonexistence keeps me at ease. The ongoing bs that is living alone and ugly and detached from reality. I can’t i don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. Being alive is sickening. Its an inescapable prison of which death is the only relief. The only reason i have to stay is because of the gap between getting the gun and using it. In that gap im supposed to use money i would’ve spent on the gun. I have to attempt at night because during the day someone will see and possibly try to stop me.
Edit i tried to hang myself it dodnt work. I hate living i want to die.