AgAin (weird poem)

Im sick of having to wake up again
just to be alive again
To hope to die again
But fucking try again
In order to change they say power lies within
But you are without power if you already died within
All i have been
Is the state that I am in
If you fail at suicide should you try try again?
If I’ve failed at everything i try why again
Should i try when everything alive will die and end
I’m the loneliest man who can never find a friend
Nor a niche or a place to belong that i am in
I exist outside of reality i am then
A figment of my own imagination who am i again
Why do i pretend
That i can try and win
When every day i lose and die and die again
I’ve lost so many times you cant say I contend
I have to sit in this pit of shit till I can end