Nobody asks. They don’t bother. I wish they would see what’s going on inside of me. Maybe I’ll drop more hints. That should work, right? No, it does nothing. They don’t take me seriously. They don’t care. I’m just an inconvenience to everyone around me. I wonder if they would care if I really did die. Or would they joke about it like how I’ve seen them do before with other people. Would they cry? Or would they laugh? If I do end up breaking one of these days, I hope they realize how much stress I’m under… maybe if I make it more obvious, they’ll finally get it. Maybe they’ll start listening for once. Maybe they’ll pay attention. Or maybe they will act like it’s no big deal, or it’s just a joke.
……it’s not a joke…… every single day, I get closer and closer to letting go…
I’m sorry… I’m not your hero anymore.
3 comments
No one is a hero, when all is said & done. We all do the best we can.
“You make a better door than a window.”
In other words.. no one can see through you. Don’t drop hints and expect them to magically pick up the cues, they really can’t. Ok, some of them can, but it’s a passive game to play with high hopes and most won’t have any idea what to do with it.
Have you ever told them you’re stressed, under weight? It’s difficult, but be obvious, tell them it’s serious, probably don’t lead/be careful with the suicidal aspect, and ease into it, but be direct. Some of them may be able to help a little. Sometimes, people joke about things they shouldn’t, just because they don’t know how to react or it’s a way to cope with darker things.
They would cry for sure. But don’t think about what they would do after you die because they are not living your life and they don’t have to know how you feel. The only person who is for you is yourself. Take care of you.