My depression isn’t a phase for me anymore. Research shows that depression usually lasts around 2-8 months and with help you would recover sooner. I have had depression for over 2 years now and that “phase” isn’t over. I had gotten help for a month, I had been sent to the hospital, and now I’m getting help again. Depression isn’t a phase anymore, it’s pretty much become a part of me. Research also shows that when you have depression psychotherapies sometimes may worsen your depression. I can prove that every time I went to see my therapist, I would hate everything even more, and I would think of suicide way more often. I can’t go on with this anymore, I’ve got three plans already for suicide and I’m still thinking of more. I just have to write my notes to the ones that I love, that need an explanation, and then I’d be gone.
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Unfortunately, for many if not most, depression is a life-long struggle. I am 22 now and have had it for half of my life. It will never go away, and I am not sure that it will ever get better now that the once excuse that I have always given myself to put things off (and stay for one more day/week/etc.) is no longer really there. One painful moment of absolute clarity took care of giving me a new perspective on my one excuse to stay, and now that it is gone, I can’t see it getting better. Medication helps a lot of people, but if you have some other situation that will never change that reinforces the depression, I don’t think that much can be done about it. I also find that whenever I talk about my issues with someone that has not been there themselves equally many times, they just don’t fully understand. Everyone is sympathetic, and everyone “feels for me”, but no one actually is able to offer anything besides overly and illogically optimistic cop outs. That not only makes me feel worse, because it further shows me that no one is going to give me that answer that helps me see a new point of view (I am now pretty convinced that there aren’t any major views that I haven’t considered in the last eleven years), the misunderstanding and optimism of everyone ends up irritating me and forcing me to push them further away. I hope that you find that your situation changes for the better, but most of all, I hope that you find peace in whatever you decide is right for you. Because no matter what I or anyone else can say, you are the only one that can decide what is right for your particular set of circumstances. If you would like to talk to someone who is going through a potentially similar mindset, and trying to see if there is anything for me to stay for, please feel free to email me at sacrificial_shaun @ yahoo.com (delete the spaces). Know that even if we suffer alone, there are many suffering alone in similar ways to you. I know that it might not seem helpful to know that, but I will say that, despite my resistance for so long, being on here has helped a little bit, because at least I know that I am not alone here.
I seems like you have been through a lot and I have an idea of what you have been through. But my decision is suicide. Even through I failed with my attempts but, I’m taking a little bit of acetone a day, to make some time to write my notes, and hopefully after, succeed with this attempt.
hi there.you are not alone..people here are depressed for different reasons.your life is gonna get better..maybe tomo you will find someone as human or any thing such as passion for something or something else that you have never thought of and you will thank yourself that you did not reciprocate the suicidal thought ..I am very sure you will find al the happiness pretty soon..with all hardship comes ease..it might sound as if I’m giving you false hopes but I am not and don’t surrender to the suicidal thoughts..strive through this phase,for the result will be something magical
I told my mom that im getting help in a way online and that I don’t need a therapist. But she doesn’t listen so of course she’s making things worse, even though I know she is trying to help.
Its k..try to act as if you are feeling better then she will stop considering that and get help online if you find this is helping you.try everything that you think will make you feel better.
I’m trying but with everything thats going on it feels impossible to pretend
depression usually lasts around 2-8 months “USUALLY” The key word.
#1 everyone is depressed to some level that will never change.
#2 i was severely depressed for 2 or more years things are a lot better now.
#3 if you truly work on it you can control it.
#4 it’s like gaining weight takes forever to lose it.
#5 if you have tried you obviously aren’t doing it right.
#6 it’s up to you to figure it out, there is a reason why your so depressed, find the root cause and deal with it.
#7 i’m just saying, i hate to see you kill yourself, because you can fight depression.
#8 if you live or die doesn’t matter we all die one way or another but i think you would want to stick around if things weren’t so bad, i hate for you to make a mistake.
From my experience therapists are a waste of time. They are almost a holistic approach to depression and statistically they almost never work long term. I went through a few MDs before I found one that I liked. Trust me some doctors are there for the paycheck and think they know everything and won’t ask the right questions or won’t listen. After years of dealing with depression I found out that all that was wrong with me was low T and depression was a side effect. Trust me when I say depression is no ones natural state and there is a doctor out there that can help but it can be a long road to find the end.
Some people suffer from depression for most of their life (if not all). Sadly Salesman is right, lots of therapists and MDs are just there for the money and care little about the actual outcome of their “solutions”… that doesn’t mean there aren’t good docs that can’t help you, but the whole “research has shown…” is pure bs. Research mostly reflects tendencies on small amounts of people, so it rarely shows the big picture… and hey, there’s degrees of variation in anything/anyone.
As for depression being a part of you… that might be true, but is it all that bad? if i’ve learned something in the last couple of years is that regardless of your condition, all that matters is if you can find a way to deal with it or not, and that can be done (even if it takes years). Heck, some “normal” people can’t handle stuff that’s so simple and easy to fix that i’d rather be depressed than being stuck at those levels of stupidity, lol.
Totally understand. I’ve had depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 13. I’m 29 now and honestly, life has gotten worse. The constant anxiety, depression really breaks down a body and mind. The only salvation is sleep. Even then, my dreams reflect my anxiety. You just have to make it through another day until you get better or until you just can’t take it anymore. I gotten to the point where I can’t take it anymore either. Just tying up loose ends until it becomes unbearable. Hope you find peace 😉
I hope things get better for you and don’t give up.
Depression is different for everyone. For me in particular, I wouldn’t ever think I would have depression and anxiety. But some people that I know can tell when I’m having one of my “depressive episodes” which is every other day. Honestly I can agree with you that therapy usually made me feel even worse but that’s part of the theraputic process, of actually assessing and analyzing that dark part of all our minds instead of the coping mechanisms that we all are familiar with in one way or another (mines are escapism via drugs and alcohol). As for actually making plans, I feel like I’m going to be more impulsive than the average person. My therapist stated that I would seem more like the impulsive type rather than the organized type that writes a note and cleans everything up beforehand. Its more like whenever I have the chance to, I’ll do it especially if I’m drunk.