So today I woke to after having my phone turned off all night, that my ex tried contacting me threw social media .
So now my head is spinning I was already feeling crappy and thinking about what would have happen if I stood in Tahoe months ago . Then bam. Just for fun updat your ex tried to follow you. BAM baseball bat to the chest of emotions and anxiety.
Seconds later my father comes into the house to tell me or to see what’s wrong with me . lecturering me on how I gave up too easily on every thing ,expeciely on my MARRIAGE and how I gave up and have no fight in me .
He is right I gave up … But so did my ex but I’m not fighting for myself .
But why should I fight I know love dose not exist.a I always knew that love was fake , but how can I re marry and start a life. when I have no hope, not seeing the reason for moving on with life .I knew this would happen if my ex husband and I split .
Get remarried to go threw the same shit diffrent person ,new place or get him back for what knowing he don’t care . knowing that he cheated not that any one believes it . what will happen when his family brain wash him again to thinking I don’t love him or care . will he move out …no he will not and how am I supposed to live his family knowing I hate them and they hate me . spreading lies about me as I never said a word .
And what if he dose cheat. do I leave him ? Why should I do that. I already for gave him for cheating …… that makes no sense to leave him ….so I will still be hopeless in that relationship the difference is when he want sex he will go to his side chick for whatever it is.
And that brings me back to his request to follow me on social media. Why ? When I check it was only a notice and he took back the requests.
What could he possibly want ? The last time we spoke I was just horrible person who took dishonor on his family I don’t love him and I never have showed that I care I have to show that I care of his family because they’ve done so much for me and I have done nothing for them.
With that said I find out about the affair he had for six months twenty-four hours after his family file for divorce with out my consent. Ending my marriage.
So why should I fight to live. Same fucking shit .