I think I’m finally close to doing it. (Not taking about killing myself, that will come in due time) But my boyfriend is the most depressing thing in my life right now. I’ve been with him twice as long as anyone else, and he’s only given me half the attention anyone else has. When we hang out together we literally do nothing together, he sits on his huge gaming rig and plays for hours. That’s it, that’s all we do. Or should I say all he does. When was the last time he took me out, on a date or something? I don’t know….I’m not sure if he ever has. I’ve taken him out to eat, which is like a date, but I paid, it was the only way I could convince him to do anything with me. When we do actually have conversations, it’s just him talking at me, I never get a word in edgewise, and it’s usually something I don’t even care to talk about, like some new game that was released or something on Reddit. And it’s like he has no clue how unhappy I am. He is so happy with me, I’m the perfect girlfriend. I surprise him with his favorite food when he’s having a bad day. I walk his dog when he is too lazy to get off his computer, we have lots of sex (but of course it’s over immediately once he finishes.) I am very forgiving whenever he hurts my feelings, and I end up being the one who apologizes when it was he who hurt me in the first place. He makes fun of my friends who are a little overweight, and already super self-conscious of it. And he never invites me out when he’s hanging with his friends at the bar, or having dinner. And I always invite him to hang out with my friends, even when I know he will decline. And the one time I asked him if I could go with him to get food with him and is buddy, he freaked out like I was invading on his guy time (which he gets plenty of) I never hangout with my friends mostly cause I don’t really have any besides my roommates and their friends. Which is probably why I haven’t broken up with him. He’s pretty much the only person I have anymore. He’s broken up with me a few times in the past, saying he suddenly has no feelings for me and he can’t even feel sorry for me, cause he just has no feelings of any kind. I tried killing myself after that but he called the cops before I had a good chance. This morning we were supposed to go to my favorite breakfast restaurant I coaxed him into going with me. And this morning the moment he woke up he left. Like thanks for remembering we had plans, but whatever, not like that’s ever been important before. I wonder how much he really even knows about me, it’s always been about him. I’m so sick of being treated like I don’t matter. He’s going to graduate grad school in the spring and start hes new job in the city, and probably wont invite me along. hes going to get paid fucking well, and he can be rich all by his lonesome self. I rather be poor and happy and single.
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You tie that gaming rig to a noose hanging around his neck, and drop him off the balcony, blowing him a kiss goodbye on the way down
and then you either embrace the search for someone that values you, or embrace the loneliness
In either case it sounds like this codependency must stop now, for your own sake
When it stops from being mutual, both of you taking part in the ups and down, to him being such a major cause instead…. then you need to eliminate the source, and try a new path…
Doesn’t mean it won’t have ups and downs,.. or even a lot of downs… But at least you did something different, instead of just keep taking the current shit thrown at you..
The same shit rarely changes if/when staying in the same place
If you haven’t reached your final breaking point yet, might as well explore new options until you do, instead of staying in the same spot and just waiting for the inevitable
Hell.. you might even end up being one of the lucky and good ones that turns out well in the end… before the end
best wishes
thank you for your kind words, this made me laugh a little.
That’s why I have cats. They’re far less maintenance than a relationship. I mean, it’s impossible to get them to pay rent, but at least they’re amusing.
But aside, life is like a kaleidoscope when you shift from an old set of circumstances to a new one. He sounds like he’s preoccupied with himself and has no ability to see that far past his nose. You could probably do better by taking a gamble and kidnapping some random guy off the side of the road.
very true. I really want to get a kitten. As soon as I move somewhere that allows pets.
He sounds like my job, which is like bending over and and being power drilled in the ass by a well-hung dude. Not that I would know.
Lol
Don’t think I have the whole picture here-but it’s a bad situation. Sounds to me that he’s leeching off you while he enjoys his life and he plans to ditch you when he gets the well paying job. I’m assuming you’re taking care of all the expenses as well.
It seems you’re offering him important benefits and he’s taking advantage without any regard for you. If there is no future with him why hold on? Why help someone who will toss you in a ditch when something better comes along for them?
I also get the sense that he has no feelings for you. It really boils down to this, if this guy isn’t giving you what you want in a relationship then end it now. If however he has enough consideration to take you along with him as he earns more money, then you should talk to him about improving your relationship.
As the cliche goes there’s plenty of fish in the sea. If he’s unwilling to work on your relationship it’s best to find someone new-that makes you happy.
Thanks, and well, we broke up. but now I feel like I might have made a mistake….but we’ll see.