Im lost

I feel so lost. I dont know what to do anymore, Im tired of the depression, the suicidal thoughts, and the everyday pain. Going through life pretending to be happy, pretending to be something Im not. I often feel loneliness and hopeless, asking myself is there anything worth living for anymore? The wanting to give up is always on my mind. I hurt myself, and then Im disgusted by it… disgusted of myself. But as much as I try to stop, I cant. If anything, I wish I could do more. I wish I could end it all.