i have such a love hate relationship with this place. i love it because its made me feel at home, a part of, & has given me some really cool people in my life. if only briefly. it has also made me feel not so alone at times, which as u all know really helps. so thank you.
but… i hate it so much at times. every time someone amazing decides to ctb it fucking breaks my heart just a bit more. i know its a suicide site… i get it. i do. but when it happens im reminded of how fragile it all is, & how its just hanging on by a thread. even me atm. i feel like im just hanging on. i have never ever cried so much as this last month. i spent my life avoiding getting close for this exact reason, it hurts too much when people leave.
but thats life hey… whats the alternative?? oh yeah.. i almost forgot.
so anyway, just a little rant. i might just stick to posting photos from now on.
3 comments
Taking photos is one of my favorite things to do… Life in frames.
Maybe it’ll make you feel better just doing that part here; sharing things you see and knowing it is out there for people to view/enjoy.
I hope you feel better at some point soon. I know feelings shift and what not so it feels lame even saying that: “feel better”. Sorry.
Yeah Soco .I know where your speaking from .. There was a person just today who I THINK may have just ended it all in a cold place in Canada . I enjoyed reading her posts .. Today as I read how she was having her last meal (Breakfast) then ending it all .. I was happy for her as well as angry as hell and then back to sad ..I’m happy for her if that was Her choice – I’m sad that there are so many people here asking The same questions – Looking for something that’s not here .. If somebody is happy to end there life by there own hands – If they are that sad and lonely – What can one say ?? – I love it you are all here and hate it too .. This kind of reasoning works in my crazy mind .. no yes or no – No up or down – No in or out . I’m still here because of you ALL ………..Love it ? – I’m not sure – Hate it ? I don’t think so … Not yet ….Stay strong folks ..
Also Soco — I am just a couple of thousand Km’s North of you . If you ever have any hair brain ideas let me know .. I’ll either try and talk you out of it or I’ll come down and egg you on .. Also I read your post on insulin overdose . though I have never heard of this my sister was telling me a story of a nurse in an old folks home that was knocking off the oldies with insulin ..