To My Family

Dear Family,
There have been many times I have tried to write this letter, many times where I would pour my feelings onto the page without even stopping to worry about anyone else. All I do is worry about each and every fucking one of you, isn’t it? I put all of your needs before my own, even though I have far more needs and far more important needs than any-single-one of you will ever have. But look where carry about others has gotten me in life: a fat, insignificant, ignorant, stupid, non-respectful, two-faced burden you all secretly wished no longer existed. Do not even try to deny that statement or say it isn’t true: deep down in all of you, the thought of “life would be better without Megan Parker” has appeared in your minds.
Don’t worry, that thought is in my fucking head every waking moment of my life. Why? Because every waking moment something goes wrong or you all complain and I take it to heart. I take everything anyone ever says to heart because where the fuck else am I supposed to put it? You all forget I hear every word you say when you are around me, because it isn’t like I can just get up and fucking leave the room: all of you have made that quite clear to me at one point or another in my life. The funny thing is I used to talk to people about how I feel, explain to them what hurts my feelings or maybe something bothering my mind. But I don’t anymore because no matter how much all of you said you were there for me or you would listen, they were all lies. No one ever truly hears the words coming out of my mouth or pays attention to the silent cues I give in order to show something inside my head isn’t quite right: all because if it doesn’t benefit you, none of you ever care.
I was raised to take no shit from life and to stand up for myself, which is pretty fucking hard when your legs don’t fucking work. Yet here I am today, taking all the shit from any possible direction and never standing up for myself because it isn’t worth wasting the energy on. Nothing ever came from those instances before when I would stand up for myself, it only brought more trouble and even the loss of people in my life.
So all I have to say to anyone I ever thought cared about me or I ever held close to my non-existent heart is Fuck You. I’m tired of everything, even the good things in my life because it is all fake. We all die one day so what is the point of trying to make the most out of life? I mean, it is just going to get ripped out from underneath your feet one day without warning or without compassion. So what is wrong with just ripping it out from under my own feet? At least that way I can say I finally did something in my life on my own, for myself.
These will be the last words from me you will ever read, know, or maybe even care about. I gotta make them important right?

Fuck You All.