What is the origin of your depression?
Ex:
– I was physically or verbally abused as a child
– I am gay/transgender. I don’t feel right in my body and everyone hates me because I’m gay/transgender
– My parents never wanted me
– Etc.
Edit: I am not gay or transgender. I was using those above as examples. Although the other 2 are true for me personally
15 comments
Mental illness
Same as deathdreamer. Very hard to cope with everyday without breaking down.
I don’t know why I became like this.
But I don’t think that it is because of 1 thing.
Here are some possible reasons:
– Knowing that the girl I like, likes my friend.
– People ofter said things like ‘go away’ or ‘We’re playing nothing’ when I tried to make friends at my new school.
– My stephmother keeps saying that I’m worthless and that I’ll achieve nothing in life.
– My mom used to be addicted to alcohol and we would constantly fight. She would also blame me and my sister for everything that went wrong, and started throwing things at us after 1,5 year(?s?).
– I get the feeling that people try to avoid me as much as possible (I’ve always had this feeling)
Why did you become depressed/suicidal/..?
I can TOTALLY relate to what you are going through. And I feel for you > I sincerely do.
1) my parents Hated me and never wanted me and they told me so over and over as a child and abused me in many ways… and I was ALL Messed up for decades in life and now even at the age of mid 40’s I am still messed because of it. > My parents set me on a course of Pain, trauma, isolation, depression, social inadequacy, and mental issues for my whole life… all because the hated me and abused me over and over for my whole time growing up and its NOT FAIR
2) I am not gay and not transgender > but when I was young in life I was kind of Feminine. Some people thought because I was kind of Feminine that I was gay but I am not. I love women and have been with women only during my life > but being kind of a feminine guy early on in life > caused me to suffer socially and be made fun of and laughed at and its all been hard to deal with.
3) When I was young in life I was mentally handicapped because of the way I was abused in life by my parents… and well.. because of that > I did not know how to work through issues in life for the longest time > because mentally I could not make good decisions in life… Luckily later in life I educated myself and learnt how to make better decisions in life and now my life is getting better slowly
But most of my life has been pain and suffering and I had been raised better I would have had a much better life
SO I can relate and if you ever want to chat by email
my email is rushfan2017(at)yandex.com
Exactly. I feel screwed in life. Screwed since the dawn of time (ok since conception). If I hadn’t been abused and so screwed up, I wouldn’t be so miserable and unhappy my entire life.
Also, for me it was the opposite. I grew up as a boyish girl. Was never into girl stuff- dolls and crap. So yeah, grew up being ostracized and being told I was “all wrong”
Nothing dramatic for me. I was really overweight as a child and I cared intensely about what people thought, so I played the social game for years and got good at it until I finally caved in on myself. I blamed myself internally and others externally and eventually I just broke under the weight of all the stress. Coincidentally it was my 16th birthday.
I was always a sensitive person since the day I was born, so really this was bound to happen to me no matter what; no one goes through life with something going wrong somewhere.
“…and eventually I just broke under the weight of all the stress.” lol intentional pun? 😛
Everyone cares what others think to some degree. Of course us depressives tend to have it affect us more.
My sister had always been a rather temperamental person.
When we moved, she actually took it harder than I did, despite the fact that her entire situation was so much better. I myself didn’t feel like I fit in, and as such, my social standings weren’t all that great. My sister on the other hand had a large friend group and always had someone to talk to.
But for some reason, she felt that everything was my fault.
Looking back on it now, I suppose you could call it verbal abuse, but hindsight is always 20/20 anyways.
“Go jump in a hole already,”
“No body cares for you,”
“The biggest problem you have is that you’re still breathing…”
Obviously my family took note of my friendless situation, and they were constantly asking if I planned anything for the weekend. Unfortunately, both of my siblings happen to have the same personality, so whenever they got really mad, they would start talking about how they knew exactly why I didn’t have friends- that I was too much of a b*tch, and that no one could ever pretend to like someone like me. They never knew that the reason I never built relationships with anyone was because I would never forgive myself if I caused anyone pain.
I suppose you could call it verbal abuse,
but everyone always labels these things as sibling rivalry.
siblings suck. ok, jk (well not in my case). my sister was a total ***** (the other one sucked too, but wasn’t as masochistic in wanting to hurt others)
yeah, it sucks in some situations where it is verbal abuse and people just brush it aside as oh well, it’s just what sisters/brothers do, blah blah
How less miserable would I have been if I was never tortured and abused by my entire family since day 1? Sigh.
I have very severe form of autism and a mix of various mental problems that prevent me from communicating with people. SO I can’t get the things I want in life.
My problems with talking are so extreme that I can’t get anything done. My parents aren’t helpful either. No one likes me and that’s why my life sucks. Thus the depression..
I wish there was a way out but there isn’t. I thought of getting therapy but I live is a third world country where it’s hard to get help.
– severe loneliness
– abused and pressed as a little boy
– a ruined unnecessary tool
– watching everyone around you grow while I sit behind cleaning my parents debts
I almost made an sp of what my bank account/credit score looked like before I gave my mother everything just to keep her house and today what my bank/credit looks like
I’m trying to reply accurately and promptly to your sp but my anxiety is sooo freaking strong that’s why I was way off topic in my other post. Although in your other post I was driving when I read it
1- what does “pressed” mean? beaten?
2- please don’t drive AND read. well, i suppose if you’re searching for death, but you don’t want to wind up maimed and alive. -_-‘
Pressed is when someone trys to scare you like someone pretends that there gonna hit you and they don’t.
Beaten is when someone hits you
I mostly drive why read when it is during rush hour
My brothers were very physical and verbally abusive to me. The brother just one year older than me was the prodigal son and could do no wrong. I was blamed and punished for many things that I had nothing to do with. All he had to say was, I did it, and it was the truth. I spent most of my youth in trouble for things I had nothing to do with. It was made crystal clear that I didn’t measure up.
All of this lead to serious feelings of inadequacy and self esteem issues. I still to this day don’t feel worthy of any type of success. I have always had trouble meeting partners and making friends. I only have one friend and that has almost dissolved. I have been without intimate relations most of my life, so when I lost my wife to divorce, my world is even darker.
There are lots of other details (as I am sure there is for everyone) but those are some of the key players to my depressive state….