Pissed off again

Hello. Whenever I hit another wave of depression, I always get in this mood with anything and everybody. I get angry for some of the smallest reasons. Being stuck at home on the weekends is literal hell. There’s nothing to do to get my mind off of everything and it just kind of reminds me of how stuck I am. I just want to drive to somewhere, anywhere. I just need something else. I start getting mad at the whole situation. I get mad at myself for allowing me to be in this situation. I hate it. I hate all of it. A little part of me actually likes being angry. Yelling and kicking things around helps me I guess? Except when it makes me look like a lunatic. I went to the movie theater two hours ago to watch something to take my mind of things (I was going to see Split because the concept of a mentally ill person being the bad guy intrigues me). Like a dumb ass I forgot it was Saturday and it was going to be packed. The fucking movie was sold out so I just had to end up going home. I figured I was already out so I went to a Sonic to get a sundae. While I was waiting in line to get to the window, I started to punch my steering wheel. A minute later this girl came out to give me my sundae before I got to the window. I think she saw me rage like a loony and decide to bring out my stuff before I start screaming or something. She was a cute girl too, probably in my grade. Whatever. Like I give a shit what people think anymore. I’m sick of having to be like this. It’s a mixture of impatience, anger, anxiousness, sadness, and all the other depressing things. I’m really tired. Do I even have a right to be on this site anymore. This is basically a place for me to ***** about my problems, when other people are literally hours away from going through with it. I’m too much of a ***** to go through with it. I’ve thought of every possible way I could do it, but I’m still here. I just wish I could let go and stop caring. About all of it. No more man. I’m sick of being angry, or sad, or anxious, or whatever shit flavor of the day life has to offer me. Back to cal homework. If the universe could just do me one god damn favor, off me already. Thank you.