stuck.

Its february 26 2017 @ 4:08 pm. I am stuck.
I was doing well for three years everyone, to the old timers and to the noobs. hello. Im now back again checking this site every 20 minutes desperate for interaction. 2012 I was chaotic. i was a mess. I just wanted to die ive tried many times and after January 17th 2015 i realized im stuck here for a reason. I shouldve died that night and i didnt. That ended all suicide attempts for me. I have had many moments where my life has gotten so much better. Ever since I moved out and go to university, my life has been a trap. I immediately wrapped myself in an abusive relationship. Was free a month and a half later when he had to move out of his house and go back to his parents. I then started binge drinking alcohol. itt was excessive. i have nearly died twice from alcohol poisoning and would you look at that. im still stuck here. met a girl who i harassed out of my personal self hatred. we became best friends ironically. moved in together not many weeks passed and we started dating. we broke up 3 times today being the third in just one month. I love her but the way she acts has me throwing up everyday cause she stresses me out. I have no escape from her til after this semester ends. I am now drowning in thoughts everyday crying in the shower or whenever im alone. Im so tired. Instead of writing this paper for a class im writing on here begging you guys to listen cause im so alone. Im breaking and ive lost myself. im back again guys. expect me to be here for a while again.