- Hey, let’s get straight to the point. I’m 15 years old and I feel as if everything I tried to do in my life has turned out to be an epic fail. When I was 12 I tried to write novels but I quickly realized it wasn’t my thing, at 13 I tried programming but I turned to be too hard and time consuming. The only thing I feel I have accomplished is getting that perfect student aura. I’m a Mathematics and Science person and I have always dreamed of doing something “more”. But now I moved to a country I hate, I suffer from severe depression and the worst part is everyday, i see my friends enjoying themselves. I see them having fun, going out 20,000 kms away from me while I spend my time in front of my computer reading depressing quotes. It’s really taken a toll on me, nothing is interesting anymore, school was already too easy and boring. I just feel like I’m wasting my life. And it’s getting worse the more time passes, now instead of feeling sad I feel angry or just numb…. and I don’t know which is worse.
Please help me
12 comments
I’m 21 and I am wasting my pathetic life, you however are still a minor and have a lot of time to make decisions and get happier. That being said, I understand exactly how it feels when you lack energy and motivation it can be a killer. I use to be a very active happy kid when I was really young, but then as my depression worsened so did my lack of motivation, I lost energy and activities that were fun before are now bland and boring. I do hope you beat the depression though, it sucks.
WhySkyEnd, you’re only 21! YOU have your whole life ahead of you as well! 🙂
No because when your 17 and below people are fine with you being just you and they don’t expect as much, but once you turn 18 all the sudden you are required to live up to social expectations set by society. Go to College, move out, get a good job, have a girlfriend, get married, have kids. If you fail on even one of those things you are looked down on.
Yeah, the old “you have your whole life ahead of you” response.
He means well. He’s speaking from one who has had special, even wonderful life experiences and that juxtaposing them onto your desolation. He doesn’t understand that he might as well be speaking a foreign language: you may recognize the words but they don’t have the same meaning.
He’s trying to give you a perspective, which if you don’t reject offhand as irrelevant to your situation might be helpful to you. So here is MY translation of what I think Photog means:
When you reach a certain level of maturity, you stop answering to what “they” want you to do with your life. You begin to accept ownership of it: the good and the bad. You recognize that university isn’t for you or that it is, but you weren’t ready for it until now. Girlfriend/married/kids. Those things are beyond your control right now. You’d have to meet someone first, so don’t feel like you have to have those answers. Sometimes you meet someone who changes everything because of the way they express life.
Here’s another perspective life experience gives (this is to both you and IBelieveInYou): you’re going to fail. You will. Probably often. That doesn’t mean you don’t have value. That doesn’t mean your life is ruined. It means you try something else. Failure can be the fuel to discovery or it can be the pat on the shoulder saying, this just ain’t your thing right now. Dell, Jobs, and Gates: all college drop outs. Dozens of writers never published until in the mid-thirties or later. Ibsen was in his 50s, I believe. Bram Stoker, Toni Morrison are names you probably recognize.
Don’t live your life for others. It is a bondage of lies that hold you prisoner.
I DON’T KNOW is absolutely an honest and valid response.
Not all of us are born “knowing” what it is we want to do with our lives.
I think what Photog is saying, is sometimes you just need to go out and experience it without prejudging it. I give you permission to take your eyes off of yourself, to lay down the burden of expectation, and just talk to someone new, take a long walk on the beach, learn to cook something or make something or try something you’ve never done: here’s a newsflash: it doesn’t have to be perfect. It probably won’t be. That’s not what defines the experience.
You hit the nail on the head, my Father use to tell me, “You have your whole life ahead of you” but as you said, all he was doing was speaking out of personal experiences that happened in his life. If someone who grows up wealthy, healthy, has a good life, when they meet someone like me who is depressed they will most likely say, “Cheer up you got your whole life ahead of you!” But what they don’t realize is those words don’t have the same meaning to me as they do to him.
Yes, they can seem empty. But listen to the wisdom in them too.
Money cost me my happiness, in a sense, at least.
Don’t believe in the almighty dollar, those who seek as a source of fulfillment are often imprisoned by it.
Learn to accept yourself. Then you can learn to laugh, be patient, and forgive yourself. Then, you have a shot at the life you crave. It’s not your circumstances, it’s your outlook + experience. You got this if you want it! 🙂
I understand, but al least youare smart, unlike me. I don’t understand why I still live. I think the only thing stopping me is hope of the chance of happiness.
If you want to be good to something, you have to practise the right way:
https://youtu.be/uY384Jlvy6E
If science comes easy for you, that is great. Not so for me.
Regarding the move, I consider it very important to live somewhere you like, if at all possible. Both my mother and I have made the mistake of remaining somewhere where we were deeply unhappy. If moving is not possible at present, try improving your environment in other ways: by seeking out people you enjoy being around, activities you enjoy, places you prefer.
Since you are so bright try getting your parents to test you for early college…it might help you fit in.
On the positive side, that’s the perfect age to realize you’re wasting your life, with so much still ahead of you. I wish I’d tried to resolve my issues at that age, rather than letting them grow into a much bigger thing.
Try to get treatment for your depression – the earlier you try to tackle it the easier it will be. Therapy could help you to pin down what you want to be doing differently in your life. It sounds like challenging yourself is important to your enjoyment of life, and it could help you explore new ways of doing that.
Don’t worry about not succeeding with everything you try – that’s the point of youth – to find out what you enjoy. It’s a learning process – you have to risk failure to find what sticks. But you’re allowed to fail, as much as you need.
Concentrate on making new friends – I know it’s hard, but therapy could help with that kind of thing. Look for any common interests or experiences to make connections. Maths and Science are a good start.
thehusk said it beautifully…+1 on that.
Thank you…. I needed that…