Okay, so I know this isn’t usually the type of stuff that people post about on this site but I really need some advice. (Btw, I’m a 16yr girl, because people usually ask).
So, I have done this sport for a long time and I have been competing across the country and it’s a partner sport so I need a partner to do it. Anyways I do it with one of my oldest friends but the other day my Dad got an email from one of her parents saying that she didn’t want to do it anymore. Now don’t get me wrong, if she doesn’t want to do it I understand and I’m definitely not angry because she doesn’t want to do it but I am angry that she didn’t just tell me and got her parents to email my Dad.
Last week I decided I would pretend not to know, or at least not mention it to see if she would tell me herself, but every time I said something to do with the sport in any way she would just shrug it off, even if it was to do with another part of the sport which we are both still doing (just you don’t need partners for that part). This really pissed me off so much that she is doing this, I wish she would juts tell me herself!
Anyway, I was thinking at school tomorrow to just tell her that I wish she had told me herself or tell her that I was pissed at her for getting her parents to tell mine and not telling me herself but I don’t know, I just don’t know what to do!
12 comments
Wow that sucks Lawli. Yeah, you’ll have to confront her at some point, and at some point she can no longer evade your questions. And she knows that you know, because her parent called your parent.
Sounds like you ought to talk to her and also sounds like you need to get a new partner soon! btw, what kind of sport is this? like doubles tennis? doubles ping pong? doubles…? just curious.
Yes, it’s very cowardly for her to have her parent call your parent instead of telling you directly to your face. But confront her gently. Getting angry and telling her you’re pissed she did that isn’t going to help.
btw, it’s awesome that you have a skill where you can go competing all around the country doing! 🙂
Thank you for your advice, you helped a lot. I do Judo and we do this thing called kata together, it’s hard to explain what it is so I didn’t mention it.
Oh, ok. I know what judo is and I know what katas are. I sucked at katas lol.
That just seems weird. Like if she told her parents who then told your parents. She would have to know that your parents would tell you. So not talking about it doesn’t really make sense. Since she would have to assume you already know by now. Also why wouldn’t she tell you she was thinking about quitting before making the decision. If you compete all over the country it sound pretty serious. If you guys were a team you should be able to count on each other. Also she should have told you so you would have as much time as possible to find a replacement. If it bothers you enough that you are posting about it, you should definitely talk to her about it.
I know it makes me so confused what to do, she confuses me so much tbh.
Why did she not tell you?
My guess is this is not about you. She still found a backchannel to tell you, right? So she wanted you to know. I think it’s more about her dreading the confrontation.
And, well… You did say you got very angry about her dishonesty. Maybe she assumed you would get very angry about her quitting.
Yeah, I know, of corse I know that she might have thought it was hard but we were a team so I hate that she didn’t tell me even though it was hard. Everybody sometimes has to do hard things like that and I think it’s so cowardly that she just got her parents to tell mine and not just coming to me, our parents aren’t part of the team, and now she’s just avoiding it and it’s making me so confused and since I’m confused I’m getting frustrated and pissed off.
It seems like you deal with things by getting angry. This further convinces me she was afraid to tell you, and I mean you specifically, because you might blow a fuse. That is just my guess without knowing you.
Anyone would get pissed if your teammate that you do competitions around the country refused to tell you directly that she doesn’t want to compete anymore. It is very backhanded and most people would feel like it’s a slap in the face, so yes, it’s normal for anyone to get angry at this.
We’ll I’m pissed now but I don’t show it, and I don’t get angry with much and I don’t show it, with most situations I know how to solve the problem but I don’t know how to solve this one so I’m getting frustrated. I am not showing how pissed I am in real life it’s just that I’m writing everything down. It just makes me so confused though, I am stumped.
Maybe she isn’t even really quitting. Maybe she decided to team up with someone else, and that is why she won’t talk to you about it.
Wow that sucks… Here I am feeling bad for people who cant deal with the with chronic depression or a serious illness but then i read this!,I’m so sorry your friend can’t come out to play but maybe she isnt a real friend or just dealing with issues herself and couldn’t find the strength to tell you herself