As someone who’s eighteen and in college, I’m expected to be planning my future, but from where I’m standing, that seems like an impossible task.
How am I supposed to plan my future if I no longer have any interest in or desire to do anything? How am I supposed to plan my future when my head is a blank white room? How am I supposed to plan my future when I don’t even want one?
I’m not ready. I can’t do this.
16 comments
Whiskered, I truly, genuinely hope things get better for you. You’re a great person even though you don’t realize it. Please accept my best wishes.
Thank you, mysteriousvisitor. I don’t really know what to say to that.
Living takes effort, so there has to be a reward that makes the effort worthwhile. If you don’t want anything and don’t enjoy anything then there is no reward. If there is no reward why expend the effort. So yea planning a future that will be all work with no rewards or benefits for yourself is pretty much an impossible task. You have to find things you want or there is no reason to do anything. It all becomes meaningless.
I agree with you completely.
Shit didn’t know you were my age. I’m going in to college so I can relate. All these essays asking me about my ambitions and I just sit there with a blank expression on my face. All we can do is wait and see if we find something. I know this probably doesn’t help, but what else can we do? Just don’t wait too long. I really hope the best for you.
Thanks, and I hope the best for you too. Unfortunately, I can’t just pause my life. I can’t afford to wait much longer.
I think Jdoe hit the nail on the head.
You put in words what I feel. And yeah, that’s why I’m not going anymore. But sometimes it scares me that little little possibility of surviving more than I intend to and realize I don’t have anything planned for all that time that is ahead of me.
Woah, I didn’t know you were in college. I hope you have a tranquil day.
I’ll let you in on a little “secret”. At least half of the people taking their first steps into college have no clue about their future. So, you’re definitely not alone, and it isn’t “abnormal”. Many people even end up doing something that they didn’t study for in college. That’s just how the world works.
I think the important thing is that you find something that interests you and that you have a desire for, a life goal of some sorts. It stands to reason that without that you won’t be able to plan for the future. It isn’t easy, but do some extensive research and introspection. However, take your time and try not to stress about it. You still have plenty time left.
That’s my problem, SadPotato. Nothing interests me anymore. I don’t think I’m capable of being interested in things anymore.
I understand that. I went through a similar phase. In fact, I’m still struggling with it. The trick is to actively find stuff and invest yourself in them. Even if it’s just things you “like”. You may be surprised at the results you get. Also, this world is quite big, filled with a multitude of things and mysteries. Out there are things that would still interest you. However, more often than not, one needs to seek them out.
I’ve been seeking. Still can’t find anything. The world really isn’t that big and interesting, I’m sorry.
It’s a tricky one, sure enough. Maybe think about where you don’t want to be in five years time, rather than where you do want to be. Would you rather a job where you have to deal with lots of people, or one with less? Would you rather a career where you make more money for a corporate overlord, or less doing something socially worthwhile? Or would you rather have no job, and be scraping by on welfare/family help?
I wish my son was here to give you some advice. He chose to drop college. He’s doing OK now, but not spectacular.
Good luck, young human being!
Thank you. Although, to be clear, the problem isn’t really college (although college is a pain). The problem is that I dont know what to do with myself, college or no college. I can’t see a future for myself at all.
Fake it. Copy other peeps that fake it well.
Real Adults(tm), like ME, fake it all the time. In fact, we aren’t even faking it anymore. We just understand that no plan survives contact with the enemy. So it’s, “shit that didn’t work, now I’ll move on to plan B.” Yeah, I know you don’t have a plan B.
You’ve got SPIRIT CANCER, so any possible futures you can come up with are going to be tainted. Write down every dream job you can think of. Keep it. Look at it from time to time. Add to it.
In the meantime, go to school. Join student orgs. Join. Join. Join. Join the school LGBT alliance, even if you aren’t L or G or BT. If you do science join the science club. Spanish, etc. Writing, etc. Angry about politics, join whatever student political party aligns with you. These are the places that you will meet other people that will fertilize you.
One day that piece of paper will stop looking stupid and start looking like a search plan.
It’s perfectly fine not to know where you are going as long as you know you don’t know where you are going.