I don’t know how to handle this. I’m only 15 years old. How do you deal with depression, with feeling all alone, with wanting to die all the time? Sure I have friends that know what I’m going through cause they’re going through the same thing… but what if this makes you even sadder and depressed than you already are. I just want to be alone all the time. My parents don’t understand it. I do this thing where I refuse to get up and go to school because it hurts too much to move and I can’t even fathom being around people all day, I just wanna stay in bed all day and cry and sleep. My parents say that everyone has to go school, and I quote, “Why do you doing this!” I wonder if they realized that if I could I wouldn’t feel this way. I don’t purposely try and feel this way… I don’t know why I always feel this way. I look on this site and I see people writing about being depressed for a reason like they were raped, beaten, or it’s just genetic. and here I am I feel so petty cause I don’t really have a reason. I have friends. my parents have money. what more can someone can ask for. sure my parents work a lot, and my dad may have a drinking problem that gets out of hand sometimes… but I feel like other people are just going through so much more and they’re doing ok. and those who aren’t at least have a decent reason for not being. is this natural to feel this way? one morning I was completely broken down in the corner sobbing just ready to die. so I sent my parents a text blaming them for everything, and I know that was unfair of me. so my mom picked me up and took me to my dads work while I was still crying and everything and my dad sat me dad in his office and told me he was never home because he was working not because he was out drinking, which I know is bullshit, then he told me I was just feeling this way cause everyone goes through this around my age…then w never talked about it again. my family has this thing with ignoring their problems. the other day my dad just mad me so mad, sad, and angry all at once and it was over the simplest thing ever, I notice I have a tendency to do that, and I went in my room fell on the floor in the corner and curled up in a ball. I was crying so hard and I just wanted to die so much. my mom came in my room saw me laying there and started to ask me what was wrong, and I just laid there. she tried to get me to uncurl but when she couldn’t she just walked out and we never talked about it again. I don’t think I can put up with feeling this way much longer, I mean this feeling is always there always looming over me even when I’m just happy, I guess I’ve just learned to overlook it till its too late. how do I ask for help before it’s too late? what if they just brush it off? what if no one helps me?
3 comments
tell them you need professional help you are still young you may have a chance to get better
I’m already getting it… it’s just so hard to talk about it and my therapist makes me feel as though nothings wrong that I’m fine but I know I’m not.
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