When Someone Reaches Out

I saw my teacher today. She told me that she prays for me every night. I’m so self absorbed that I forgot that she included that multiple times in her e-mails. I had to go to school to give her a medical excuse. The last assignment of mine, she gave was a 98. I tend to forget that other people can have multiple layers. She told that her sister died at 44, and she had a dream about her saying that she was ok, and that four people that committed suicide. She says that it’s an selfish act because you don’t realize the effect it has on other people, and what you leave behind they have to pick it up. I guess I understand, and I should stop my negative thinking. She also wants me to keep in touch with her though e-mail, and don’t shut out people who love you. It feels weird to find out that people care about you. I’m so use to feeling not wanted that you don’t know what to do. It’s like floating in space, or that misdial noise you hear on the phone. Sometimes, it stresses you out more because you don’t know what to do with a relationship. Also, I’ve learned not to trust people like any other who has a mental illness. For some reason, I don’t feel like dying just want to live in isolation.