Someone just made a post about how we’re labeled as “toxic” and how friends were distancing themselves. Maybe they deleted it because they were afraid it came off as arrogant, but no, this is something I’ve been thinking about a lot. So thanks for bringing it up. This was my comment:
This has honestly been on my mind a lot. Glad you brought it up. It is not fair that we are labeled “toxic” and “negative”, well excuse me for having an illness! Social media is another reminder because there are memes like “Distance yourself from negativity.” “Don’t embrace toxicity.” Some shit like that and even though it’s not directed at me exactly, it might as well be. They’re talking about the people like us. It makes me feel absolutely terrible, like I should hide in shame away from people. It makes you feel shunned.
I was watching American Gods. One of the characters is obviously a depressive type, they don’t come right out and say it, but you can tell she’s going through the motions and isn’t happy. Even after getting married to Shadow, she said something like “I resent your happiness.” She was empty inside and I was thinking in my head “Wow. I get it.” Then a family member said “Ugh. I can’t stand a kill-joy!” I rolled my eyes because I wanted to say “FUCK YOU! SORRY PEOPLE LIKE US ARE SICK!!!” Would you say “Ugh, I can’t stand your cancer!” It’s something you have no control over mostly.
Guess we are looked at as a cancer, something people don’t want, but we don’t get as much empathy.
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That’s why this world covertly and indirectly wants us gone. To actually off ourselves while all the while saying “suicide prevention” they want us gone, but obviously can’t say it.
This is from one of my old posts:
“I wish people would stop lying about appearance. It’s a pathetic and shitty thing to do. Appearance does matter, my friends. Sad but true. After all, this is not huggy bears.
I don’t look at things as positives and negatives. I look at things as facts. It is a fact that breeding with me, for example, would objectively be a bad choice, because my genes are very poor, therefore I am of no use to the species, in evolutionary terms. Therefore people will subconsciously (And consciously) ostracize me (Yes, they will, and they have) in the name of evolution and find ways to avoid interacting with me by brushing me off by saying things like “You’re just being negative” and “You can change your life around if you really want to”.
I always find it strange that people say these types of things on suicide sites when they are clearly in the same boat as me. It is like they are just in denial. Why do you think people pick on fat people? It’s like they’re saying ‘You are an evolutionary reject!’ in order to beat them down so much that they become depressed and dysfunctional and never reproduce in order to help trim the bad genes out of the gene pool. Have you ever met a retarded person who reproduced with a beautiful, intelligent normal person who accepted them even though they were retarded out of the “power of love”? No. Because it’s about genes. Genes. Not huggy bears. The world is grotesquely harsh!!
“But that’s just social hierarchy!” Yeah, and why do you think social hierarchy exists in the first place? To weed out the weak biological links. I am a weak link. It’s not that I’m being negative, I am very crazy, I am ugly as sin, I am poor, I am small and weak, and it is quite clear from my experiences that no one wants me around. No one would want my genes to be passed on to their future children through my great great great great great grandchildren, so they protect their genes by weeding out the unworthy and picking worthy mates who will continue the species, again, because this is not huggy bears. This isn’t up for debate people. It’s science. I don’t really care who says I’m wrong because if you honestly think that’s wrong, then you are in denial and there is no point in talking to you because you are just subconsciously clinging to your chances of passing on your genes by not labeling yourself a failure, an outcast, etc; because you don’t want to sabotage your future, because that is your internal drive (to make rationalizations to live) and your biological imperative (to reproduce).”
Hello,
Just wanted to say thank you for taking notice of the issues I have with the “toxic” and “negativity” labels. I’m relieved to hear that I’m not the only one who expresses the upset ’caused by the stigma behind those who often find it hard to “fake it ’til you make it.”
The “toxicity memes” on Facebook hurt a lot and you couldn’t have stressed your feelings any better. I prefer coming here as it’s easier to open up about the things others would just brush off as “feeling sorry for yourself or drowning in your own self-pity.” It’s easier to say what is on your mind, where in the Real World… not so much. Which has me down to question: which world is more genuine? The Virtual World where people are free to open up about their thoughts and feelings and dreams and goals (both positive & negative) or the In-The-Flesh-World where people are most likely to feel afraid of expressing themselves less they want to risk breaking another friendship and chipping away at their reputation.
Some part of me thinks the latter isn’t so good.
That’s interesting to think about…I don’t fit in in the real world. The place I seem to fit in most is here and sometimes on social media. Social media is tricky though because as we’ve pointed out, it can have a tendency to make you feel bad. Even though social media is the virtual world, people are judging your reputation there and they’re putting up a “front” or what they want to pretend to be. It’s stupid really. At least we have this place. There’s no way I could carry on about suicide on twitter. I have brought awareness to mental illness on there though because I honestly have nothing to lose anyway so I might as well use my presence to bring awareness to our issues. There is a core following there that is supportive. Not everyone is going to like you anyway.