it’s 4am and I’m awake. I have no idea how I’m going to face today. My body is exhausted, and my mind is poison. There is no relief from what runs through my head today, I am trapped in a cycle I’ll never escape. If I’d have had access, it would be over now. But there are punishments that come with being honest. I’m so angry at myself for reaching out, I am so angry for bleeding into other people’s lives. I wish I could take back so many of the words I’ve said so that no one knew. I hate myself so violently, and I am so frustrated and desperate to get away from here. I can’t do this anymore.