Every day feels like a wasted day. I wish I knew why, and how to fix it.
Why do I need to feel productive in order to be happy?
In other news, I have to put off my plans even further. Instead of the 9th, I have to wait until the 11th. Let’s hope I can. It’s just a few days, Kat. That’s nothing compared to the 12+ years of bullshit you’ve already dealt with. Just keep yourself alive for a few days.
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Hey Kat. Please don’t go. You writing your posts and sharing your thoughts means a lot to me.
Don’t go where? I’m not going to die.
Phew! What are you gonna do?
What I talked about in my last post. Admit myself to the “behavioral health center.”
Oh, I see. Don’t let them cross your boundaries. Hugs
Thanks. I won’t let them hurt me.
Maybe you feel like you’re doing things that you don’t want to be doing? Regardless, we can’t be productive all the time. It’s alright to have “off” days.
And you’ll make it till the 11th, it’s only two days. Like you said, you’ve made it 12+ years. 2 days are minuscule in relation to that.
Yeah, maybe. I don’t really do anything, especially now that the semester is over. I wake up, eat, do whatever housework I need to do, then I return to my bed, do nothing until I eat again, and then repeat that until it’s about 3 AM and I finally sleep.
Ah, the holiday doldrums. Are there any activities that seem appealing to you at the moment? Any hobbies, especially ones that require practice? It’ll give you something to do and give you a “sense of progression”.
The closest thing I have to that right now is language construction. I’ve been building a fictional language from scratch for a while. So far, I’ve made an alphabet, number system, all of my noun declensions, and adjectives. I’ve started on the verbs, but I’m not done with them.
I pretty proud of myself, although sometimes I can’t help but wonder why I bother with it.
It seems like you have an interest in linguistics. No, that’s definitely something to be proud of, it’s impressive. Quite a few movies and shows hire people to do what you’re doing. It can be a potential career path for you.
Thanks. I never really thought about that, but maybe you’re right. Maybe the skill could be put to use someday.
It’s certainly not easy, but my brain does seem like it’s built for it. That’s why I feel like such an imposter in my classes. I’m going for a science degree, surrounded by math-y people. I love science, but I still don’t think I’m cut out for pursuing it like this. Unfortunately, it seems like the only useful degrees are STEM degrees or medical degrees, and I don’t want a useless degree.
Yip, this world is full of careers that one never thinks about.
Ah, I understand. I would always advise a person to go for things that they enjoy and that they feel that they can excel at. However, it’s your life, and it’s understandable not to want a “useless degree”. Anyway, often, people go into careers which they didn’t study for, or didn’t even think about. So, the future is open.