Yea I’m so distraught this morning I’m having trouble for my own thoughts, I’m shaking a bit, just immense amount of stress, 30 years old, I live at home, been alone for fucken years now maybe three maybe four, my mom seems retarded.
I’m honestly exhausted. I won’t leave a note, I don’t wanna go through with this but I know these people around aren’t going to help me, there happy with me just going to work and coming home and paying them there rent money. It’s mainly my mom I’m tired of taking care of her I’m not his husband.
I’m not at all concerned about how it’ll effect people when they find out, I’m alone, none of these people care enough or even acknowledge I have a problem, why should I bother with them?
None of these people know what its like, suicide is not a selfish act, being to sad and in pain one goes to length of taking there own life, guess who will be there when I finally decide to go through with it? No one, just me, like always, that’s the toughest part, when I was younger I thought I’d be happy. Happiness isn’t is my future,
I’m so frustrated with so many things in my life, the depression is literally crushing, thoughts of suicide are a semi-relief. I’ve had this thoughts for a while but as of late they’ve taken on a more serious tone, they use to be just after thoughts. Not anymore, not anymore.
we laugh we cry, we live we die, life is unfair, there is no rhyme or reason to any of this,