For a long time I learned to live in the moment, trust me its not good living in the future or past its miserable. If you live in the future you worry, you live in the past you never forget bad things. I hate being here period I’m just thinking of different ways to ease the pain you know.
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I also used to live like this but trust me, it’s not going to work in the long run. It’s a temporary fix on things. People need:
-closure
-healing
-sense of purpose
-peace
-sense of directionand control
We don’t have to live in the past and get stuck in it, but that also doesn’t mean we should forget about the things and people that hurt us. Often, we hurt from the past so we cab avoid the same mistakes and know what to do next time. That or a sense of justice so next time they try their sh*t on you, you can f*ck them up. Worrying about the future doesn’t bide well either but that does mean we shouldn’t dream and plan for what we will do in our life.
Frankly, we have choices and the choices we make will affect us in the future but more likely, it’s our environment and the people around us that often break us. I know it sounds easy to do the things above but seeking closure, peace and direction is harder than it seems given the noise (your environment and the people surrounding you) around you.
I drink and try to stay apart and away from weird fucks. Planning to run away from
Town where no one is quite right.
Have you ever thought of using ecstasy/mdma? It’s being studied as a use for ptsd which might help in your case. It’s worth a shot at least. You can take low doses of it so you don’t get the euphoric high.
God yes. I can identify. So much depression/regret about the past. So much anxiety about the future. Sometimes I wish I’d have a stroke that would wipe away all the past but leave me still functional. I know I have the power to choose what I think about but I slip so easily into old patterns. I once read that they way the human brain is structured it tends to remember bad things much easier than good. My first thought? “Who the fuck came up with that grand design?” It stated that the practice of remembering and visualizing past good times is something you have to really work at. Until it becomes habit. I’m still working at this. God it sucks to be tortured by your own mind. I know I’m preaching to the choir here.
It seems most of us here are hardwired to have a sense of justice or revenge. I don’t really see the point of remembering the past and triggering our hurts, traumas and anxieties unless we really want to destroy the people who have screwed up our lives. Sometimes, those problems in the past overwhelm us that we feel like we have no escape from them. That’s what drives people to suicide I think. Feeling powerless and unable to do anything about your situation emasculates and deprives people of their dignity.
You’re right.