Listened to Sebastian Junger last night and dug up this post I had posted a week and a half ago. Yep, no purpose, no contribution, and no recognition for any contribution. My life is meaningless and I am irrelevant.
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My life seems meaningless and pointless. If I died now, no one would care, no one’s lives would be affected. I am not a scientist nor engineer nor anyone that has, or will, develop any life-altering product or process or idea that changes the world or affects people’s lives. I am a nobody just like everyone else. I am just another ant in a colony of billions of ants. Each is individually insignificant. Squish a dozen or even hundreds ants, oh well, there’s tens of billions more in a colony.
Anyhow, what I’m saying, at least for me is- I am nobody. I am not anyone to anyone else. I am not a husband / wife / mother / father / lover / etc. I am not even anybody’s friend (I mean a REAL friend- I’ve lost them all as they were never real friends to me to begin with). No one loves me nor cares deeply for me. No one’s affected by my being alive. Or dead.
What is my life worth? My life only has meaning if I want to live. And for the last few years, it’s been absolute torment and I don’t. I’ve never had a great life nor a happy life- only brief moments when it hasn’t been so bad here and there. I’m just tired of being or feeling half alive, or like the living dead, or like a zombie, or like a tormented ghost, or whatever word it is that describes my shitty existence for the last few decades.
What is the point of this jumble of words? I don’t know. I guess that my life is utterly meaningless and pointless. And full of misery.
16 comments
This is exactly how I feel, too!!! My life is completely pointless! Everyone else is doing nice things that make their lives worth living! and I am just here doing absolutely nothing that would provide any content to my life. And I am a burden to my parents who need to pay for me and everything, while I am contributing to nothing. I have no joy in life and my life has no purpose. And the worst thing is: I am extremely overwhelmed with all tasks and responsibilities! I am incapable of anything and I am useless and worthless.
My life is not only meaningless, but it is also a torture for me.
Even if you don’t feel like your life is a torture, I can absolutely understand how empty and lost you must feel.
How does one find a purpose in life? How does one find a reason to enjoy their lives? How is one able to have a life that doesn’t feel like a pure waste of time?
I have no answer to this.
I wish I had.
I’m sorry.
But I don’t want to end my life. Because then there still wouldn’t be any sense to my life. I want to have a meaningful life. I finally want to have a life worth living for!
I want a solution for this. But I don’t find one on my own.
Yes kill 4 billion of them and we’d still be good.
Exactly my thoughts. You know something…i’m simply alive because i’m breathing. No other meaning. Its like I was put on earth to get punished a stupid ugly nobody. anyways, I’m sorry you feel this way… I sincerely hope things get better for you.
My purpose on earth is to observe the self-immolation of human civilization. If it doesn’t happen soon I’ll get bored and probably leave. This planet is dumb.
I just read that my government values a citizen’s life at approx. $5 million.
Probably doesn’t even include the cost of getting them fixed, or their shots. I bet if you bought one, you’d get home and it’d die of cholera or something.
@muspelhem What country is this? If that valuation is right I can see why a government goes about practically forcing us to live. I don’t agree with the practice of practically forcing us to live though.
You would be missed by the people here at S.P.!!!!
I enjoy reading your posts and am sure others do also.
Thanks
Your post makes sense to me. Being of no relational consequence to anyone or seeing no contribution to humanity from myself would put me in agony.
That said, your comments to my comments matter to me.
Of course I am on SP so we know I have other issues.
I have felt this way for a long time. Kinda why I live my life in a dilated crescendo of chemical oblivion. I am however a son and a brother, that keeps me chugging along with a full time job and all of the joyless maintenance of everyday life. I want my own purpose though, and I want to stop living for other people.
I understand the hopelessness of your plight though. It’s not that I haven’t attempted to pursue the things that makeup a normal man’s joy. Despite my efforts I remain a somber hermit who spends their free time commiserating with the dysfunctionals and consuming far too much television. I feel your pain even if the circumstances aren’t the same, which I’m certain they’re not. Don’t know why I’m even commenting considering we are vastly different, but hey like I said I spend lots of time commiserating with the dysfunctionals.
Hope things get better, though they probably won’t. Godspeed!
It is always good to have someone understand. We all have our own issues here on SP but we have the common denominators of pain, suffering, torment, loneliness, depression, etc- all that great stuff we are afflicted by. Thanks for understanding and commenting.
This is how I feel. I am nothing special. I have nothing to offer or any talents that make me important. I always imagine what will happen if I died, and I want people to care and to remember me, but they won’t, because there is nothing to remember. I am already invisible. I am nothing.
We see you. You’re important to us. Every soul has value and is valued
“Every soul has value and is valued”
-May be every soul has value, but most of us don’t feel valued. Especially those of us on SP. And society certainly doesn’t express it positively. For those who suffer from depression, other mental health conditions, chronic health conditions, those who are disabled, jobless, poor- society kicks us down and treats us like dirt. Would be great if everyone was valued but it certainly doesn’t seem like it in today’s society.
@eternaldarkness Please know that I and others on this board value you. One only has to read the comments section on this post to know that people care about you and want the best for you. And society as a whole can seem distant and unloving, but there are more good and compassionate people in this world than we know. We just have to find them and let them see us