call me weak, i already call myself that.
just this year everything around me got too much to handle and i experimented with self harm. well sort of self harm. i don’t use any objects sharp enough to make the wounds bleed right after. (it does scab over the next day)
i don’t know if that counts as self harm or not, but when I started doing it i justified it saying “it’s not real cutting I’m not using a razor or anything.”
but now i have scars on my arms, they’re faint (some of them are pretty obvious) since i don’t use a razor, but they’re there.
what are your thoughts? is what Im doing actually cutting or self harm?
(it helps me get my anger on myself out, and relieve stress. i know it’s not healthy and i’m trying to get help)
11 comments
When I was in the hospital due to a suicide attempt, I saw a girl probably 18 years old who had about 40 cut mark scars on both arms. Who knows how many she had on her legs!?!? It was really sad to see. She must have been on real emotional pain.
there are too many emotionally hurt people, I wish the world wasn’t like this
I think we hurt ourselves just to feel something…anything. You hurt yourself physically by cutting. I hurt myself mentally but constant worry, fear, stress. Please do get help as those scars will just remind you of unhappy thoughts and unhappy times. I know it’s not easy but nothing is easy in this world. You will recover and be better in time!
thank you for your words and support
When you were a kid, didn’t you ever have a smart ass family member or friend who, when they heard you crying about a stubbed toe or something, proceeded to punch you very hard in the arm and say with a smile “does your toe still hurt”?
It’s not malicious in intent though it’s obviously a tease, but it does also have a bit of a lesson in it.
When my head crosses the line into the danger zone, and I need to get out of it ASAP, making something else hurt to take my mind off of it is not what I would consider the action that needs to get help. It’s the band aid ironically enough for the real wound.
It’s the same way I do it. When I really need to clear my mind I just need the physical pain. I use razors though I don’t ‘slice myself open’, but it hurts for a while and the scars stay for a good 6mo before they start to fade. ive even poured lemon juice on my arms after to kick it up a notch.
I think it’s self harm – if it becomes a contest on how deep you need to go to be “legit” it kind of defeats the purpose of doing it in the first place. But I do it to feel better, not worse so is it still harm?
ah thank you for sharing, I think its self harm even if we are doing it to feel better.
though it helps us mentally it is still “hurting” our physical bodies
I’ve never cut myself but it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I hate pain but even pain seems like a better alternative to when I feel empty. The furthest I got was to hold the knife to my arms and stick the point into my arm just enough to feel a bit of the pain but never had the guts to slice but it does make the emptiness fade a bit which is probably why I never took final step. And honestly who the hell cares what others call it, as long as it helps your burden.
thanks for your opinion, it was just bothering me because my sister bothers me about the fact that its “not real cutting” all the time, and I know I shouldn’t care but sometimes I can’t help it
People are being especially nasty in my life the last week or 7. The people I hate the most follow me around. I listen to their disgusting personalities about 24/7 wishing there were better people following me around or better things or people to listen to.
I guess it is self-harm. I have done it over the years with razor blades. Not really deep but shallow cuts on my arms, neck and chest. The neck was a mistake as I had to wear a scarf for days until the cuts healed. Even though they weren’t deep, they stung for days. I’ve also heated up metal and burnt my inner arm. I told myself it was ‘branding’ but it was self-harm. I ended up getting those scars covered with a tattoo. It helps to assuage the inner pain at the time. Going for a walk or exercising doesn’t have the same effect.