Your endgame is death. You have no real purpose in living. You don’t have any objectives in my life, and it’s been suggested that you make some. Find something to do, anything.
While you are alive, your objective is to make yourself as scarce as possible. Help others. If harm is to come to anyone, do everything in you power to make it come to you. You are unimportant. You are an extra, you can take the fault. You are disposable. Take the blame unless it is beneficial to others.
You have no grand dreams or imaginations. You don’t want to be happy. You don’t want to love anyone. You don’t deserve to love anyone or take any love. You will only take love if it is beneficial to the person giving.
You can work the jobs that no one wants to work while still managing to use what you are decent enough at. Choosing something you are good at is beneficial for those around you.
If someone starts a conversation with you, keep to small talk. They don’t care about your day; they are talking to you for small talk. Everyone is only talking to you for small talk and so that they are not alone. Don’t be offended by this. This is not meant to offend. This is meant to give you the truth. This is the truth you need to hear.
If you are going to die, you don’t deserve to have it on your own terms, but accidents and illnesses are welcome.
Self-harm is to be allowed only if it does not scar. Scarring makes people care, and you don’t deserve that. It doesn’t help anyone around you if it scars. Bruising is still up for grabs, though. Self-harm is not to be used as a crutch, but as a teaching tool. Use it accordingly.
If you find something that you enjoy, take it away. Take care of the body only in what is absolutely necessary. If you suspect you have a life-threatening illness/wound, do not seek medical attention unless it is going to cause inconvenience to those around you. You are a secondary thought.
You don’t deserve anything you get from other people. Therefore, you are to take care of whatever is given to you and be gratuitous to everyone. Gratitude towards everyone is essential; you are living in their life, screwing it up. Don’t take that for granted and try to make your screw-ups small.
Do not be selfish. If someone asks for something, give it to them, even if it is not beneficial. People grow only through their mistakes. You are to act as humanoid creature with self control.
Lie to people if it it makes them feel better. Nobody really wants the truth unless they specifically ask for it, in which situation you are to give truth with as much kindness as you can muster. Kindness towards others is above even truth. Truth towards yourself in regards to your mistakes is the only truth that is necessary. You have few good qualities, but one of them is following instructions. Let your talent be used here.
Do your best to be as good as possible. True goodness is not achievable, but you can be better. Be better. This is to be your guide to that.
Stop complaining. You have nothing to complain about, so stop looking for them. Your life is damn near perfect. So what, you had a bad past? So has everyone else. You are not special. If you find yourself with an ounce of “respect” for yourself, rip it out. Narcissism is a weed that is more easily killed in it’s infancy.
These are your truths and are not to be used for anyone but yourself. This will be your way of fixing things. This is how you change. Be better. Do not use this to advise anyone but yourself. You are different, which is not to say that you are by any means “special”. Do not confuse the terms. Others are special, but you are not. Others are not you and should not follow these rules. These truths are yours and yours alone.
4 comments
If you are unimportant, so are all the other human beings that share your genes and environment. If you are equally unimportant, then you are also equally important. There’s nothing special about anyone, including being less special than anyone else. Everyone is alive, and so are you. I don’t know why the nurses at hospitals don’t give this lesson to every newborn, but they should start doing it.
Are you a narc?
Probably. Definitely not the prime example of a human being either way. Definitely delusional enough to believe that doing any of this shit will keep me alive. Definitely ashamed of the fact that I definitely used to be one. Don’t quite know if I am now or not. I’ve tried to destroy anything that might turn into narcissism in me, but I’m worried that narcissism is like a hydra, in that no matter how many times you cut off it’s head (destroy any sense of pride or self-worth) it just comes back with more (stronger sense of narcissism). If that proves to be the case and I am the narcissism that I think I am, it might just be better to get rid of myself. Are you?
I am sure i am one and i want to kill myself for it. My dad is a narc too. And my mom is the sweetest most loving person on this earth. I dont deserve her love. But im so scared to commit suicide