I haven’t been honest with a human being a single time, in probably 6 years. I dont understand why others dont lie constantly. I guess others don’t really fit into the sick fuck category either. Honestly though, the deep emptiness inside me seems a little “Extra!” Just a constant void ripping every way inside you, constant and cold. I cant imagine actually feeling anything anymore, it seems impossible. My feeling has been turned off for only a few years and yet they seem like surreal fairy tales you’d tell a tired child at night. But dont misunderstand when Im allowed complete isolation from others, some times.. i just lose myself and laugh hysterically at my horrific hollow self, and its true love. but its always bittersweet knowing letting go of the rules, is losing my life. Powerless restrained. A future that must be avoided at all costs even if it means a date with the 44.
For the last 10 months, I created a personality and persona to be for the rest of my life. My mask of sanity I threw it away and created a new one. New rules New habbits New reactions New thoughts New Life. Completely and thoroughly I slowly became this person, So one day I would be a good enough man to get back the love of my live. I grew in ways I never thought i could. Likewise damaging myself in ways I never would of thought of. Get this neruo-typical After doing a routinely check up on my mental health that I do every week, After only some of the damage to myself was apparent, I threw away everything I have accomplished and worked for, To be myself again. I’m a little more twisted from doing that, but im not even close to becoming my true self yet. I cant imagine being that way again. But I have to be. You would too if you were in my shoes. I have nothing. No family, No friends, Mentally ill and was on the verge of death. Hospitalizations after another. And i have no intrest in fucking living. its just a drag constant work. dying is so much more logical and ideal. Since psychopaths have their own understanding of life, Ill leave you with some life advice. Being truely and genuinely selfish is the best thing you can do for your own life. I hope I get to share my true self with you all. You’ll feel the despair n might get addicted
9 comments
This is terrifying. I got your ok.
I don’t believe you’re really a psychopath. Don’t lie.
I was waiting for someone to call him out. You seem more like an angsty teen who’s watched one too many anime.
My reasoning goes like this: a psychopath would never admit to being a psychopath, as that would run contrary to their interests. Assuming they were even aware of being a psychopath. Most probably aren’t. And most would never end up on a website like this because they wanted to end their own lives. That would seem silly to a psychopath.
Rivets, I think you’re confusing psychopathy and sociopathy. Psychopaths are characterized as those that secretly enjoy inflicting pain or doing violence against others.
Sociopathy is an antiquated term. It’s in practice the same thing as psychopathy. Sadism, on the other hand, is a trait of psychopathy that’s not necessarily definitive of the condition.
Weird as it might sound, there are pro-social psychopaths who function well in society, despite having all the neurological indicators of psychopathy. Some even have families, and appear to display empathy. Just watch some interviews with Jim Fallon.
Right, they do tend to go hand in hand. A sociopath is almost always a psychopath, but I don’t know if the reverse implication is true. For example, I don’t think I’m a sociopath, because I have a conscience and feel emotions strongly. But I do think I have “psychopathic” tendencies which I keep under very strict wraps.
I guess it doesn’t matter, as this guy seems to be talking about sociopathy anyway, what with the emptiness and the laughing and such. Lol.
That being said, everyone is welcome on sp. You mentioned loneliness and the love of your life. Maybe try a few dating sites to find new people, and get engaged in new activities to help with the loneliness?