Broken Psychopath

  October 7th, 2017 by MonsterNamedKira

I haven’t been honest with a human being a single time, in probably 6 years. I dont understand why others dont lie constantly. I guess others don’t really fit into the sick fuck category either. Honestly though, the deep emptiness inside me seems a little “Extra!” Just a constant void ripping every way inside you, constant and cold. I cant imagine actually feeling anything anymore, it seems impossible. My feeling has been turned off for only a few years and yet they seem like surreal fairy tales you’d tell a tired child at night. But dont misunderstand when Im allowed complete isolation from others, some times.. i just lose myself and laugh hysterically at my horrific hollow self, and its true love. but its always bittersweet knowing letting go of the rules, is losing my life. Powerless restrained. A future that must be avoided at all costs even if it means a date with the 44.

For the last 10 months, I created a personality and persona to be for the rest of my life. My mask of sanity I threw it away and created a new one. New rules New habbits New reactions New thoughts New Life. Completely and thoroughly I slowly became this person, So one day I would be a good enough man to get back the love of my live. I grew in ways I never thought i could. Likewise damaging myself in ways I never would of thought of. Get this neruo-typical          After doing a routinely check up on my mental health that I do every week, After only some of the damage to myself was apparent, I threw away everything I have accomplished and worked for, To be myself again. I’m a little more twisted from doing that, but im not even close to becoming my true self yet. I cant imagine being that way again. But I have to be. You would too if you were in my shoes. I have nothing. No family, No friends, Mentally ill and was on the verge of death. Hospitalizations after another. And i have no intrest in fucking living. its just a drag constant work. dying is so much more logical and ideal. Since psychopaths have their own understanding of life, Ill leave you with some life advice. Being truely and genuinely selfish is the best thing you can do for your own life. I hope I get to share my true self with you all. You’ll feel the despair n might get addicted

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