Well let’s see. I personally ended up reading a lot of suicidal experiences and I can tell that my issues are nothing considered to what others have gone through but I guess we all have a breaking point.
Now let’s see, I’m a 17 years old male, who by the way is really short thin and very weak, you could literally take me for a 10-12 years old guy.
Now other than that I had an accident, actually a couple of them, my front tooth is gone and I can’t get one implanted until the age of 20, I have a broken nose and I’m ugly in general but leave that aside I have some real health issues and if not me the bad health is going to kill me anyway.
Now let’s get to the other side on the personality, I’m really sensitive and CARING and I mean it, but I’m shy, withdrawn, anxiety hits me, boring, dull, annoying and plain out not someone you’d want to hang out with.
I personally got this perspective of life that I just hate the society and how life is in general, I hate it how this cruel world truly is so I’d rather be dead.
I wake up everyday, go to school just to sleep there, and then head directly to work up until 8pm and then I get home and I watch stupid movies.
No one even knows I exist I have to text everyone if I want a response, if I luckily even get that. Now there was this person whom I got attached to a lot, we used to text a LOT, but then this person showed no connection whatsoever face to face as if it was someone else completely.
We’ve been fighting for months in a row if not more and I can’t take it anymore.
This morning I didnt go to school I went to pharmacies but they didnt have the pills I was looking for.
If they did I’d probably would have ended paralysed or brain damaged because I clearly did no investigation what so ever.
There’s a lot more I’d love to share but K need and I want a peaceful death
8 comments
Don’t kill yourself, you are just starting your life
issues are more or less the same for everyone, because as you said we all have a breaking point.
If something even silly it is a problem for you then it shouldn’t get less attention than other stuff.
I don’t think your problems are any less important then anyone else on here. The hardest problems aren’t the big ones, but the smaller ones that don’t go away and wear you down slowly. I’m not too much older then you, and at your age my problems were way, way different from yours.
But the idea was roughly the same. Seemingly insignificant problems and generally bad quality of life, combined with a lot of anxiety and stress wearing me down through highschool.
People always tell you in highschool to “keep fighting”, or that “it get’s better”, or that “it’s not so bad”. But I remember, it was pretty bad. And it doesn’t get too much better, at least it didn’t for me. So, welcome to SP.
Thanks for the ideas and your opinion guys really.
Morded that’s what I hate when people tell me it gets better.
I’m also really really not healthy and I might die from health complications if not by myself so.
Don’t kill yourself, you are too young to think about suicide. Please reconsider
You are very young and your brain is still even developing. Probably in puberty too so thst can fuck with your emotions too. Looks seriously mean shit. I have dated the most ugly men in the world. Its who you are on the inside that will attract a woman. Things in hs change once you hit college n u meet different type of people. Dont give up for these reasons. You are goong to grow older and lool back and say fuck these people. No one keeps in touch with people from high school. As u get older, things do change from thst age. I am talking from experience. And what i have seen from others. Only thing for me my life got worse because i have many mental illnesses. Try making new friends at school. Im sure theres others sitting by themselves or soe.thing that can relste to you and also need a friend. And from one person to another. Do not choose to go out by drugs. It does not work. At 85 lbs and malnourished and didnt eat for days, i overdosed on a shit ton of xan an perc 30s ans lived. Dying from drugs is not easy at all or i wouldnt still be here. Worse method possible coming from someone who has tried that many times with huge doses at once. You just sleep for days. Wake up and do weird shit thst u dont remenber. Like call n text people. You black out. Its really fken bad dude. Unless u have someone shoot you with a shot losd of heroine and leave you there but then you go blind and ur organs start to fail. Dont worry about your tooth. It gives you character. Youll get thst new tooth eventually. Stick it out. Seriously its all in ur head becauss if ur used.to seeing someone missing a tooth when u see them again it just becomes regular in the sense they dont even see a missing tooth there anymore. People become accuatomes to it. If that makes any sense at all. Dont let your insecurities get to you. I rather have no front teeth at this point to take away all my pain and want to die.
I know you feel pain as i do. I just offered advice that i feel important to tell you. I am sorry you are so sick and did not mean to come off insensitive. But once again, drugs…do not work. Im looking up other methods to exit.
Thank you a lot for the advice I’m still alive and breathing as of now, I should really start cutting some people off my life.
I’m so glad that the 5 drug stores I visited didn’t have what i was looking for (I was literally searching for some international heavy stuff) otherwise I’d have probably done it and the worst is I’d mostly end up braindamaged because that doesn’t work.
Eitherway I got a perfectly set up plan with well say no pain guarantee of %80 but well let’s just see how things go.
And more afterall I’m stubborn when I tell myself something I’ll do it I’ll fucking do it, especially since Itold this to a couple of my best friends and that would make me a drama queen if I didn’t do what I said i will. I hate being a drama queen, I myself think i do suffer from some mental issues, hell we all are sick somehow.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, and i really do hope things will get better for you, and trust me when I say it they will if you truly believe it.
I have changed so much the past month, I went from being the nice shy quiet guy to someone who doesn’t even give a fuck, I’ve actually even started doing crimes here and there(nothing to major vandalism of my school in some cool ways :P).That helps me, but I changed a LOT and I’m not sure if for bad or for good.
What’s even fucked up is that you don’t realize how serious suicide is unless you go through that phase, it’s like when people have problems of their own whenever they hate someone online they go like: kill yourself you loser, nolifer. Oh no that doesn’t affect me at all, what bothers me is that I used to do that.
Thing is I messed up my relationships with everyone, I gave a wrong first impression and well now there is no going back from that.
I hope you’re still around here, you seem like a really nice person with whom I’d love to chat for the hell of it someday.