or care.
No matter how much you explain, they just don’t get it. Whether it’s trying to explain depression or a chronic illness.
When you try to explain depression, it’s “oh, have you thought about just going for a walk or watching a funny movie?” Yes, because all you need is a funny movie and depression is magically gone. Whala! Or go for the infamous “walk.” Because all you need is a little walk to the park and bam! No depression no more.
When you try to explain how you’re always sick, and it doesn’t get better, people say stupid shit like “oh, have you seen a doctor”? Noooo, that thought never occur to me! YOU are a fucking GENIUS. And then there’s the “oh, is it like a really bad cold?” I have major health issues, and people think it’s “like a really bad cold.” Like really? Even after explaining people just don’t get it.
And then comes the blame. If you are sick (physically) or depressed, then to them, it’s always YOUR fault. If you only just tried “seeing a different doctor, tried a different therapy, tried a different drug, etc etc etc” because there can’t possibly be anything that doesn’t have a cure or easy fix.
“You just haven’t tried hard enough.”
Fuck you.
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Or ‘you should really try to pick up your life. Go tot he gym. Meet up with friends’. Fuck off really
Or the classic: ‘Why are you depressed? There must be a reason.’ Like, really?
I just wanted to say how much I relate to this post – it’s like I could’ve written it myself. I also have multiple chronic illnesses, chronic pain and major depression and anxiety, and I’ve had ALL those things said to me. 🙁 Most recently by my own asshole husband of 20+ years, I couldn’t believe it.
I’m sorry that you, and all those who can relate to this kind of situation, are going through what you are. I know how hard it is and how frustrating when somebody says those ignorant, ridiculous things.
By the way, like I said, I’ve also heard all those responses already mentioned but even more often (from “friends” mostly) I hear nothing but SILENCE. It’s like they pretend they just didn’t hear (or read) what I’ve confided in them or told them about my situation/s and illnesses and they say nothing. Then they distance themselves until I rarely, if ever, hear from them.
People don’t understand, and they obviously don’t even WANT to understand. At least that’s been my experience over the last few decades.
People free of sever anxiety or depression are not able to grasp the concept of it.
It is like explaining color to a being without eyes. Making up new colours. Some might be able to understand to a certain degree but apparently never completely.
They experience a bit of sadness here and there, heartbreak or grievance. But the complete concept and whole spectrum of existential dread that comes with anxiety and sever depression will always be a language unfathomable to them.
I LOVE YOU ~ <3 !
This is EXACTLY how I feel about ADHD. But, more importantly how I felt about my depression. People have NO IDEA what it is like to lay down on a Friday, and be incapable of getting up for a glass of water on a Sunday. To surrender your weekends, your life, your HEALTH to a FUCKED UP condition is so painful no one could understand. HOW COULD THEY!? I'm kinda glad they don't. I kinda wish no one did. but we do, and it sucks. On the flip side, the people ( like me ) who say see a doctor or change that shithead ( ESPECIALLY if they diagnosed you before getting you tested for things that seem unrelated) they probably overcame it somehow. The reason why they tell you to get tested, see a doctor, is because they know you can too.
People don’t matter. They are a breed. Alike a farm full of sheep. Or a hoard of zombies.