Digression from: My life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway
I wish I could hack my country’s systems and change the age on my ID. It would be like getting another chance at life.
Some months ago I was at college with a group of students from my class who were between 18 and 21 years old, and they started to guess each other’s ages. One girl guessed I was 19, and another guessed I was 21 years old — but I was 32! I laughed so hard inside! Hahaha!
In the end, despite feeling kind of guilty about it, I let them believe that I was 22. I did it because it was still the beginning of the course, no one knew each other, and I didn’t want to risk being discriminated or being perceived as someone who was too different from them. It’s true that I was much more experienced, but in a sense I was still in their same stage of life: I was there at the university trying to get my first degree, trying to start a career, trying to build a life… in this sense there was no difference between us.
I don’t feel like I am in my thirties at all. I see my friends from high school or other people about my age, and I feel different from them, I feel they got somewhat boring and tired. I often find myself thinking about people who are 26 and older as though they were older than me. I tend to unconsciously talk to people of my age or slightly older than me as if we were from different generations, and since I look a hell lot younger than I am, they tend to treat me in the same way too. It feels awkward when I suddenly realize that I am the same age as them! — and as a side note, it is hilarious when I am discussing with someone who’s younger than me and they give me crappy arguments such as “you’re still too young, still haven’t lived much, you will have changed your mind by the time you get to my age.” Yeah, right, idiot.
Anyway, it’s a weird feeling. And I think I tend to do that because I see them as people who have already accomplished things that I didn’t. So even though I usually have the same kind of responsibilities as them, and more often than not even more responsibilities than them, to me it feels they are in other stages in life, while I am still stuck to my early twenties.
Perhaps even if I felt I had accomplished something, if I had got a graduation, a post-graduation, a doctorate, a well-developed career; perhaps even with all of this, I would still feel too young.
I worked since I was a child, I didn’t have much time for fun in my childhood or when I was a teenager, and it’s like I am still trying to find time to go out and do the things a teenager would do. I still wish to have a group of close friends to go out on the weekends, have some improvised fun, and stay awake until morning just talking and listening to music. I still wish to learn how to play guitar, bass, violin, harmonica, or to learn to surf, skate, among other things. These are some things that I also wished as a teenager. Some of them, like hanging out with friends, I did little as a teenager and I was left forever wishing for more. Others, like learning how to play musical instruments and some sports, I simply couldn’t do because I didn’t have the time or the means. I still want to do all of this, and I know that my age is not an impediment, but I also see that people of my age doesn’t have this kind of things on their minds.
So if I just could hack the registers and change my age to, say, 24 or 25 years old, that would be so great! I look younger and I behave like I am younger, so it wouldn’t feel like a fraud — it’s the age on my ID, 33, that feels like a fraud — and then it wouldn’t be too late to start college again, I would have another chance to develop a career, another chance to make things work, another chance at life…
If you could change the age on your documents, just on your documents, would you too feel motivated to try again?
12 comments
If I could change my age on official state documents regarding my age, I wouldnt. I don’t know, to me it seems like I wouldn’t gain anything by pretending to be younger. I think it would catch up with me at some point, with my luck. I’d rather be able to change my biology. Get some new knees and a lower back!
What would be the point of changing your age on your college ID? If you want to fool your peers, you can just lie to them or mislead them, like you did, and no one needs to see your ID.
Not just the college ID, everything, all my documents. Potential employers wouldn’t discard my CV simply because I’m too old, for example. One thing is finishing college when you’re 28 years old, which many already consider to be too late, another is finishing it when you’re 37 — that’s the age I would have if I tried again.
soulsister’s got the better idea- change it to 65 😛
Seems to me like you just want to fool yourself into thinking you’re 10 years younger. If you want an ID with a different age, why not just get a fake ID?
Yes id change mine to 65 so I can retire and collect a pension.
ha, good one
My pension would be so ridiculous and the bureaucracy here is so absurd that it wouldn’t be worth the trouble, hahaha
Once, whilst doing some volunteer work, I had someone ask me “if I liked any boys at school.” I’m 27!!! Espirit de escalier moment: wished i’d said “No, I am not a pedophile.”
I find these things hilarious!
And I’ve felt the same way as you at lot of the time. That dysphoria from people misjudgments they push onto you, and those feelings of regreat and wanting to try again. I’m also studying, but via distance learning.
Also went to the opticians a couple of years back where the optician obviously saw my notes that would have said my age but was still trying to patronise me because of my appearance. The result of that was her asking me if “I was a working girl”. I don’t quite think that’s what she wanted to ask me, ha.