Ive attempted 19 times this year alone. hanging, jumping out of a car, anti-freeze, bleach, water intoxication, wrist slashing you call it ive done it. Did I ever regret it? not at all. I take thousands of dollars worth of anti-depressants and I’ve gone through 3 different therapists over the course of 2 years and I have also been in a psych ward 7 times this year. At first it was because a lot was going on in my life but now its just an obsession and I cant stop attempting. any idea on wtf is going on?
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Do you expect death to result or do you do it for thrill and maybe you like the punishment?
Clearly what is going on is that you are very bad at killing yourself, and I say that with the utmost understanding. Me too. As to the obsession you referred to- My life has changed since hitting what I thought were reasonable circumstances to start looking at suicide as a viable option. My life has drastically improved in every way and yet I can’t shake the thought. When I consulted a buddy who had lived through a long suicidal period of his life and has well recovered from it his words to me were this, “you know man, I don’t think it’s something that we ever get over. I think it doesn’t matter how good or bad things get for us- it’s something that sticks with us.” Basically describing it as just that- an obsession.
” Clearly what is going on is that you are very bad at killing yourself”
That cracked me up. I’ve never made a serious attempt, but I enjoy the thrill of taking extreme chances which some might consider to be suicide attempts (taking way too many pills, hanging off balconies, driving 2x the speed limit on dark roads with the headlights off). I suspect most failed attempts are similar. Anyone who is really serious about dying will keep at it, as soon as they get out of the hospital until they get it right. So I agree with OwenR. After your first few attempts, it’s no longer suicide and more like a thrill seeking obsession.
“any idea on wtf is going on?”
You clearly haven’t done a basic google search.
-You won’t die from drinking a little bleach. You will throw it up.
-You won’t die from drinking a little antifreeze. You will throw it up.
-You won’t die from drinking too much water (very very very rare)
-You won’t die from jumping out of a car at low speed. Yes, 46 mph is low speed.
-You won’t die from hanging if you don’t do it the right way.
-You won’t die if you slash your wrist the wrong way. Vertically, not laterally.
If you really want to die, you need to do some research.
1. I didn’t drink little bleach
2. I drank more than the lethal amount of anti-freeze
3. I drank three gallons of water under an hour. people have been dead from drinking much less believe it or not
4. I was thinking of jumping out from a highway but I had no choice since my parents don’t take highways
5. I tied a noose with the belt so I think I did the hanging part properly
6. I slashed my wrist vertically but the blade got too dull
no one gave you the right to be an asshole
also I heard on the news of a teenagers that died from jumping out of a car going 50 mph which is why I was confident with 46 mph
There’s no way I could answer your question fairly without knowing more about you. Maybe you got the attention that you need after attempting the first time and are seeking it again. Maybe it gives you a sense of control because you aren’t empowered or don’t know how to or are scared to tackle your problems in a more life-affirming way? Maybe you don’t believe you’ll really die and are reality testing? Maybe it’s the only way you know to punish people you feel too inadequate to confront face-to-face? Maybe you have a scientific mind with an urge to put ideas to the test.