Well I just self harmed again for the first time in over two years my vision is blurry as hell right now and I finally if it makes any sense feel free. Though its quite frighting at the same time. But then again I am better off dead at this point. So no one will have to fucking deal with me ever again. Though the one person I love in this cursed world more than anything will miss me. Hes better off without me. Joey baby I love you with everything I have. I’m sorry I cant do this anymore. Please forgive me!
3 comments
Sh**t… This sounds bad 🙁
Can relate to that feeling when you fall back into old habits because life is too much or whatever.
I hope you get help
Hugs
Maybe people like to deal with you. Give people more credit. I deal with a lot of challenging people. I would be more worried about asking God for forgiveness rather than your friend. Better idea to just stay on this side. Take it one day at a time. If that’s too hard just take it one hour at a time. “This too will pass.” Life is incredibly long when your child dies…..and something about suicide is like alcohol or vinegar to an open wound. I recommend taking a solid hour to imagine what it would be like for your mom, dad, siblings, friends to lose you to suicide. You probably can’t fathom it so let me just tell you. All of the pain of the world crushes down on your heart when a person you love commits suicide. And yet the rest of us just live on …through the cancer, the autism, the PTSD, the recovery from narcissistic abuse. Whatever the hell of this life…It’s still a gift and it still has meaning. Never leave before your time. It’s not your time. Go tell your mom you love her.
I felt that way every time I slipped back into self harm. I get it and it’s hard to come back, but I just keep trying. I was clean for 9 months and I slipped recently but I’m trying again. So please keep going. I felt like I wanted my death but then I saw my sister get in a car accident and was afraid she was dead and it made me realize that is how they would feel if I died. We feel like we would be free but look at all the pain we would cause others we love. So please try to keep going.