Its been a while since I posted on here. But I really needed to talk about this and I know if I post it on my social media someone is gonna run their fucking mouth about it.
I recently met up with a old lover of mine for drinks. He told me he was having relationship problems with his girlfriend and since I was his only friend that still talk to him he wanted my advice. It was a lovely night. we drove around smoked, drinked, talked and we ended up making love in the back seat of his truck. I wanted to blame it on the weed. But honestly is it weird that I do not regret it. I mean my boyfriend is a good man but he is a lousy lover in the bedroom no matter what I do. It seems like the only one that gets pleasure from it is him. He refuses to go down on me. But yet he expects me to go down on him everytime. Honestly I’m getting bored as far as sex goes with him.
My friend he has his life together, goes to school, has a good job and is able to provide for himself. I am not going to tell my boyfriend about this. Because I know he will get pissed. But he wants me to think nothing happened when ever he hangs out with younger female coworkers. mmhmm I call bullshit.
That is the least of my problems though. With whats been happening with my sorority recently I have to take a little this semester and I literally have nothing in my bank account. I ended up having to make a shady deal with an online friend of mine . He gives me the money I need and in return I have to spy on his ex wife on social media. I mean its shady and bad. But since I am not able to go home on the weekend much to work due to stupid drama between my father and his parents. I honestly had no choice. Do I feel bad about it not really… I mean what ever it takes to survive in this world right?
At least midterm week is almost over at my college and I can hopefully let myself relax this weekend. Even though I have a ton of shit to do and my anxiety and depression are eating me a live but at least i’m still standing right?