Have I become apathetic to it all. I just feel like I’ve stopped caring about school. Being in college is strange. The first semester just kind of took off in this strange sort of way and then it just petered out. I don’t really care about the papers or the finals or anything really. Even the regular assignments are just whatever. I have less than three weeks until the semester is out. Recently I stopped going to those club meetings. It’s not like I really contributed or had friends in those clubs. I just fell out. I don’t know. I just am feeling real apathetic. Anyone heard the song At Least It Was Here. The 88. I don’t know. For the longest time I thought one of the lyrics was “Give me some rope. Tie me to a tree. Give me the hope to run out of steam.” I don’t know. It sounded like that for the longest time. Where am I going exactly? Do I just pick myself up and go. What do I want anyways? I’m not even sure. I can’t say that I don’t play games or watch TV. If I really had no interest I would just sit there and do nothing. But even then I kind of have it in the back of my head that the shit like games and TV matter just as little as everything else. I have no idea where I’m going and I have no idea where I am now. Do I still want to die anyways. It’s a toss up really.
2 comments
this is where I’m at currently in life, minus school.
Participate and show them how bright you are. It’s really important to be invested in those things. It may be nerves getting the best of you causing you to basically catatonize, especially if you feel like these people aren’t your friends.
I did not attend college, because high school was enough for me and I frankly didn’t feel college would present me with magically matured versions of all the immature bastards.
But if you’re lucky enough to be in a school of intellectuals, join in. If you don’t enjoy your college and classmates maybe you can find another school. You can always switch schools, right?
It might be 5 years or 10. But I might slither my way into a Ivy League college once I get myself sorted out. How will I slither in you ask? Use a lot of wits and good luck with a true desire to learn and assist. That’s just a pipe dream though.
I don’t know if Ivy League school admit you if you aren’t fresh out the high school and ripe for the picking.
I’ll be 28 going on 80 anyway.