Thought

At least you have perhaps found a way to reduce some guilt or fear and that seems like a good thing. It just seems like that if we have less guilt or fear to deal with we can do better with the mess life has handed us. So yes, after reading all biblical accounts of the death of Jesus I can only conclude that it was deliberate and under his control. The same goes for Stephen, also in the new testament. Both of them “dismissed his spirit” and died before their executions could be completed.