It’s been a while since I had a really bad dream from the past. It’s the season maybe lol.
I wonder if I wasn’t molested by adults or became a victim of incest… I wonder if I’ll be a better person than I am today.
I wonder if they ever forget. I wonder if remembering makes me a slut because even now I can’t forget their touches. I can never forget and it makes me hate my everything.
7 comments
You are not a sl*t… unless you want to be. You are what you are.
Thank you for having the courage to post this. Though I have absolutely no memory of such things, and maybe no such thing ever took place, I have a strange (?) fear and that makes me wonder. Your post has given me the courage to bring this possible matter up to my therapist. Don’t know but I sure as hell wonder.
Spam is having a field day..
I think I told you awhile ago it’s ok that replies are late.. 🙂 Warmth is a good thing, definitely.
It far from makes you a slu t.
I relate too much, unfortunately.
Dunno how to stop that either.
But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the person you are today. Some people are a****** even when they get the world handed to them, no neglect or abuse, so it’s not just circumstances that shape a person. There’s nothing throughout your time here that’d make me think otherwise about you.
I hope those dreams can stay gone someday.
I wish I had the answer to your question. I wish I could help you. Yes, forget things that hurt us is really hard. But you are amazing, smart, and deserve the best. Why in the world should you be in pain while this asshole is fine? Try to be happy
Sorry if this is a duplicate message… the thing kinda went whacko on me…
I too am a survivor of incest. You are not alone and it was not your fault in any way. Doesn’t matter how often it happened, how old you were, or what you did or did not do. The people who did this to you were and still are wrong, and they always will be. It is their sickness, their filth, their disgusting behavior…. it is not you, and you are not a sl*t.
I have too often wondered how I would be different if I had not been molested, and I will never know. I will never know the person I could have been had it not happened. On the same note, though, I would not be the person I am today… and not everything about me is terrible. I am NOT saying I am glad it happened – I sure am not – but I am happy with what I have done in response to it.
You too will never know the person you could have been, but also too you would not be who you are. I don’t have to meet you to know you are a good person, and you are worth loving. You have a beautiful soul, and it shines through. No matter what these people did to you, they could not take away the core of who you are. No one can do that.
I have never forgotten, and you won’t, either. But I promise you that it WILL get better. I am on the other side of the mountain and you will be too – I promise. Hold on, and never give up on you. You will make it though, and believe me, it is absolutely and completely worth it. You are worth it.
i was cleaning up some of my posts and i noticed a particular one from you..
Rather hope you can see this sometime, and that it was just part of the season.
and as always, i hope you’re doing ok.