Reading the news that Jong Hyun took his own life today reminded me of all the times I approached the edge myself. I’ve gone to the Skyway bridge countless times and I’ve stood on the water’s edge in the darkness. During one great moment of despair, I even put my foot in, but then my heart skipped a few beats and in that moment I knew that nothing was worth that much.
I knew that whatever my failures were going to be–disappointing my parents, disappointing my family, disappointing my friends, disappointing society–none of it was worth the darkness of the water that would engulf me. In truth though, I know that it was the lack of courage and the fact that my despair was not great enough.
Luckily, it scared my brain into facing the great failures of my life. Since that incident, I am happier these days. Hence why I haven’t posted in over a year.
But I can understand how despair can be so great that whatever brain mechanisms nature endowed us just aren’t enough to hold us back. It’s like a safety valve that malfunctions or the nuclear containment that didn’t have a backup for its backup.
I’m deeply saddened that he’s gone. He was such a great singer and entertainer. But more so, I’m sad that it had to end that way. It makes me miss my friends who are also gone.
1 comment
It is so sad when a gifted young person takes their own life. As a fan you feel like a crater has formed in your existence. Here’s to talent, looks style and a voice that makes you grieve for all the beauty yet to be unleashed. I wasn’t aware of this young talent until you posted this.