Well Christmas was wonderful this year I cant r ember the last time I went by an entire day with out feeling my depression or anxiety blow up in my face. Though I have been dealing with a lot lately.
I can feel my sanity slowly starting to slip. I self harmed twice in the past week. Bad enough that I had extremely blurry vision for a few minutes as well as a bruise from my right ear all the way down near my eye socket. Luckily its light so i really don’t need to cover it with much make up.
I am honestly concerned at times. I really don’t want to go down this dark hole again. I don’t want everyone to worry about if i’m gonna try to kill myself again or when I start to have an anxiety or mental break down and start bawling my eyes out. Especially not my closest friends and joey senpai.
I know he said he’ll never leave me but if it starts getting worse. Will he change his mind? If I did lose him I may never fully recover again. Last time It took me nearly over 3 years to recover.
Also one thing thats been bugging my mind lately. I came out to my close family and friends over 3 years ago as Bi ( Now Bi/Demi) I know my family is trying to be supportive but theres some jokes and comments they been making lately that make me literally cringe since they are so stereotypical. I usually just laugh awkwardly and play along. Mostly since I don’t want to start a huge fight and then look like the bad guy like always. *sighs*
I hope everyone has a wonderful new year!
3 comments
Ouch. Do you punch yourself too?
As much as I hate to admit it . Yes I do. I also tend to claw myself with my nails on occasion.
lesbian here