I thought it would be a better feeling once I pushed the person I loved most away and after I convinced everyone else I was okay. I was just going to disappear to go and die and leave this place
my mind is so screwed up I want to die and want to live but not this way.
This way I’m dead but I still breath
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There’s a reason I can’t sleep. How are you? I take it your balance is tipping in the other direction? At least you want to live. I guess you need something to hold onto. It must be hard pushing someone away.
I pushed her away to save her the pain from what I’m going to do.
I’ve been holding on to a hope for so long I’m tired and it’s getting further away
How did she let you push her away? Did she try to not be pushed away? I wish you could draw people to you. So you won’t be all alone.
No she left me for someone else. We still talk/fight almost everyday. I think she will be happy I’m gone and not a burden anymore
If you talk almost every day it seems to me that she didn’t get too far from you. Maybe she had hope for you? I do.
I had hope for the last 5 months she said she still loves me and there’s a right time for us but won’t do anything to give us a new chance. All I do is give her pressure and stress when I ask for answers or a decision. I told her I’m taking a job far away so she will never know what I did
My heart breaks for you Leah. I give you a lot of credit for still trying. I believe that the world is better because you’re part of it. You love so deeply. Are you artistic?