I thought for a change I post some good news. For the last weeks I had a really bad relapse, but it has lifted! For days now when almost compulsively I wanted to think/say out loud “I want to die” instead I said “I want to be well!” sometimes 20 times, either out loud or in my head if I was not alone. And it worked, my mood has lifted. Don’t know if it would have anyway, or the trick worked, but it certainly did not hurt.
I also started a new project, a lovely quilt, which is both fun and challenging, to keep my mind occupied, and am doing some volunteer work for my church. It all helps, but it takes a lot of willpower to get started, and goes against all your instincts when you are deeply depressed. But if you force yourself, it may well work!
So after this post I hope I won’t be back here for a while. I wish all the best to all of you who struggle so much, I so hope it will also get better for you eventually.
Of course those who have my email, I am still more than happy to talk to help. <3
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There’s always a reason to get up in the morning