Everyday I have the idea, I feel this despair and it’s difficult to hide.
I feel the to end with everything. The nonsense of killing myself is turning to be reasonable. I don’t like to live, I don’t like feel the pain, the loneliness. My friends are gone, the love of my life is gone. The only thing I do now is work. I work 15h-16h a day, seven days a week. Not because my work needs me, but because I need work.
I’m afraid to die. I wish I had made different choices. I wish I have never tell you that I was in love. If have not told you, probably my life better. For sure I’d be living a lie, but it would be better.
I want all this pain, this noise, disappear. Sometimes I believe I’m gonna get up from my bed and kill myself. Without think, without not even knowing what I’m doing. And then finally I’ll be free.
2 comments
Keep working it’s a great distraction and you can spend your money on more distractions.
I get the feeling things would be different for you if it was your work that needed you. Wouldn’t that be nice to be needed? If only you could do something nobody else could do. Then they’d need you.