It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here… just going to type some stuff out, I’m not looking for a response from anyone. Hopefully I’ll be able to look back on this one day wondering why I ever felt like this – I doubt that, though.
I can numb my feelings for a little bit, but this feeling always comes back no matter how hard I try/try to push it out of my mind.
My emotions are always just sad, angry, annoyed and I don’t know how to feel better. Everyday it seems to be getting worse.
Lately I haven’t been able to get out of bed except to feed my cat. I haven’t been eating much that I’m noticeably losing weight, which is a good thing, but still…
I always fuck things up for myself and I don’t understand why I keep doing this…
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how much longer I can continue feeling like this.
3 comments
Just wanted you to know someone read your post. Don’t know what else to say.
I’ve lost 70 pounds.. I guess it was extra anyway… My house is not very safe so I can’t just stay comfortably in my bed… I have to get up and most days I feel the urge to leave and go far away but get afraid going outside…..I live with people I hate who have destroyed my life since a young age….. I used to spend all day away, I’d take the car and go as far as the engine would take me… I’d have to take substances so I could come home and pass out asleep because there’s nowhere I’d want to stay the night less than there…. they’ve found a way to haunt me even when asleep now. Asleep/awake whatever the worst thing to ever happen to me…….
I know I could only ever be happy if I left and went far far away… I can’t leave. It is like Anne Frank or like Stolkholm Syndrome. It is like being abducted as a child…
hope ur pain ends soon