I seriously hate getting older. If it ain’t one thing its always fucking something else.
Like I was planning on going on a overnighter retreat for the sorority I’m involved in at school. Well guess who ended up having to use her entire last paycheck on an emergency cell phone bill payment. Because the company decide to be a fucking dick and shut my phone off two weeks early unless if I paid next months bill. I have never missed a payment in my entire life.
So there goes the money I was gonna use to pay my fee and lunch for the overnighter. I’m probably gonna have a lot of people in my sorority pissed at me and might even lose a few friends. I know your thinking why doesn’t she say something to her friends about it. There are 2 reasons 1. Last time I did that I got mocked because of it. 2. It is so fucking embarrassing to talk about my financial problems. I been working at the same job for the past 7 years. You would think I would of gotten some kind of promotion by now right? Hahaha not even fucking close! I maybe got 2 pay raises the entire time I’ve worked there ( whoop another 50 cents) If anything its gotten worse. Its a struggle just to get enough shifts to cover my cell bill each month let alone to be able to do anything else.
Its especially stressful since me and my partner are going on our first vacation next month and I barely got anything saved for that. My partner told me he wants to cover everything for me. But honestly I don’t want him too because one it makes feel bratty like I can’t take care of myself if that makes any sense? It makes me feel weak and possibly even worse I don’t know if I feel like this due to the way I was raised to become financially independent and take care of myself. Or is it more of a possible pride issue? Like i’m not able to take care of myself so I have to rely on someone else. Which I can not stand.
Honestly this is why I rarely ever get involved with anyone or anything anymore. Something always seem to go wrong no matter what I do…
I only got like maybe 4-5 hours of sleep last night because of it and I just sent a email a little bit ago to the president of my sorority then immediately logged out of my Facebook account before they could message back. I am pretty much running on lack of sleep and fucking adrenaline right now with my favorite music blasting through my headphones. Pretty much the unhealthiest combo I could be on right now though its better than last night when I tried to drown myself in the bathtub to get myself out of my misery for a little while. Obviously it didn’t work.
I just got to get through my classes today, avoid certain people and then go home and try to relax a bit. Maybe make a strong drink and enjoy my dads birthday celebration tonight…
4 comments
It’ll be okay, love you
Ever consider downgrading your phone/plan? Mine is a prepaid so it costs 25-35 a month depending on internet.
I Pay strictly for cellphone only including text, call, and data its $25 every 3 months. I can barely afford that on top of other things. I go to school full time and I work two part time jobs. I am one of the better employees at both but most of the time when it comes to getting shifts its like pulling teeth since i’m not one of the managements favorites.
Are there any other part time jobs nearby? Maybe you need to replace one if the managers aren’t giving what you need. All the advice I could give.
And as things are, you’re doing all you can to be independent. With the vacation, maybe just let him this time and you can do the next trip.